


Band Shirts Add A Certain Romance

by onlyfortheboysintheband



Category: Arctic Monkeys, Last Shadow Puppets
Genre: M/M, milex - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-30
Updated: 2015-01-28
Packaged: 2018-03-04 09:07:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 25,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3062066
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/onlyfortheboysintheband/pseuds/onlyfortheboysintheband
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's the 7th of October, 2004. Arctic Monkeys are about to play their first gig in Liverpool, during which Alex notices a boy in the crowd wearing a shirt with  'I Bet You Look Good On The Dancefloor' written on it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Heavy bass tones were coming from Matt’s garage. It was seven in the afternoon. In little over 24 hours they would play their first ever concert outside of their hometown- Sheffield. They had already established the set list when they'd got home from school and were now eagerly practicing each song one by one, getting more nervous about the upcoming gig as the evening went on. 

"How far is even Liverpool?" Alex asked the rest, "Me mum’s able to give us a ride, but we’ll probably ‘ave to stay the night and get someone to take us home Saturday mornin’." 

"Wow, we’re so rock and roll, people," Matt chuckled, "but, I do know a lad in Liverpool, bet he’ll let us stay over one night. I’ll give ‘im a ring,” he finished, standing up from his drum set to look for his mobile phone. Nick put down his bass guitar to stretch, yawning as he spread his arms up, touching the ceiling of the garage.“It’s getting quite late, the neighbours will surely start complaining ‘bout the noise soon, better get goin’.” He left his instrument on the floor and started packing his backpack. “Fortunately we finish early tomorrow, we’ll have plenty of time, so don’t get too stressed out, lads,” he continued.

Jamie nodded tiredly and started shuffling around the room to find his belongings. 

“Should be on the road by about two, so we ‘ave plenty of time for sound check,” Matt added. 

“A’right, everything’s settled then, better get goin’ too,” Alex joined the conversation groggily. 

After finally cleaning everything up in the garage, so Matt’s parents wouldn’t get angry, Jamie and Alex stepped out into the rather cold October air. Nick went the opposite route, but they continued to walk together as they lived close to each other. 

“Think you’ll meet a bird at the club tomorro’, Al?” Jamie teased with a slight grin forming on his face. “Shut up, you twat. That’s not important,” he replied, letting his gaze fall onto his shoelaces. “Well, they allus go for the singers, don’t they?” Jamie continued, earning himself a push off the pavement. The boys separated three streets down the road, both eager to get into their warm beds. 

They again met up in front of the school past two in the afternoon, Nick joining the last after tripping on the stairs. “Ready to go, lads?” he asked, still a little out of breath after his impressive stunt. 

“Me mum’s already waitin’ at the house, you all have everything with you, right?” Alex checked and started walking towards his house after everyone mumbled their replies. After struggling to fit all instruments as well as all band members into the car, they set off to Liverpool with two hours of driving ahead of them. 

“Sorry to miss it, dear,” Alex’s mum said apologetically, but a smile arose on her face when Alex kindly took her by shoulders, pulling her into a true mother-son hug. 

“A’righ, lads, it’s almost five o’clock, better start with that soundcheck, aye” he said to the rest of the band whilst his mum was getting back into the car, preparing for another two hours back to Sheffield. Their soundcheck went as smooth as ever with them having time to do a few covers as well, just for the laughs. 

They had a little over an hour until the concert was supposed to start, so they decided to get a couple of beers to calm their nerves, watching people slowly arrive at the venue. A tall, dark-haired boy caught Alex’s attention. Partly because of his skinny, almost rockstar appearance, and partly because he was surrounded by five decent-looking girls, all trying to get as much of him for themselves. His hair was covering his dark eyes a bit and as he laughed Alex noticed his slightly crooked teeth, adding a touch of chimpunkness to his “denim jacket and shiny loafers” appeal.  
Matt noticed Alex’s extensive staring at the group of kids and asked with a smirk: “What’re you lookin’ at, Turner, something’s cought yer eye?” 

“Erm, no..I mean, yeah..nah, nawt,” Alex shrugged his shoulders and returned to his pint. 

“Oi, look at his shirt!” Jamie exclaimed. The boy had on what appeared to be a homemade “I Bet You Look Good On The Dancefloor” writing on his white t-shirt. 

“A proper fan after just a few shows? Sick!” Nick added to the conversation in an awe. 

They all averted their eyes back to the drinks in front of them, but Alex had to take one last look at the surprisingly interesting boy. Their eyes met, followed by a charming smile from him. He turned to his girl companions, whispering excitedly into one’s ear. Alex had a feeling their were talking about him; they definitely knew he was from the band that was to play in half an hour. 

With every minute Alex’s heartbeat fastened, ready to explode once he stepped his foot onto the stage to a fairly large crowd. He walked over to the microphone shyly and Matt let out the first beats to ease off the tension. Alex and the rest of the band joined quickly, playing “Ravey, Ravey, Ravey Club” as their first choice. 

“Err, 'ello, Zanzibar, how’s the night so far?” Alex talked to the crowd, greeted with “woos” and shouts. “It’s our first time ever playin’ in Liverpool and we’re very chuffed. So let’s make it a good one, shall we?” he inadvertendly looked at the mysterious boy whilst making friendly banter with the crowd. The boy was standing in the first row, singing every word to every Monkey’s song, his smile getting wider with every new song Alex introduced. 

The night was coming to a close. “We ‘ave time for just one last song, people. And I’d like to dedicate it to the lad in the first row who’s been singing with us the whole evenin’, wearing that snazzy t-shirt.” Alex said in his raspy voice, a smirk rolling off of his tongue. The boy looked around him, his eye landing on his chest, realising the lead singer was talking about him. 

“What’s your name, mate?” Alex asked. Everyone got quieter to hear the boy’s answer. 

“M-Miles” the boy replied loudly, still flabbergasted.

“Nice, well….I. BET. YOU. LOOK. GOOD. ON. THE. DANCEFLOOR!” Alex exclaimed over Matt’s drums, giving the remains of his energy into that last song.


	2. Chapter 2

'Miles. What a lovely name, fitting so well with the boy’s rugged look,' Alex thought, every new image of Miles euphorically jumping in the first row making his stomach shiver, as if it was to do a somersault. The band was hanging around the room behind the stage, deciding on what to do with the rest of the night. It was past ten, but the adrenaline kicked in, keeping them wide awake.

“Paul, the lad who’s lettin us stay over’s comin’ for a bit of an after party,” Matt said wiping sweat off of his neck, leaving the towel around. “There’s plenty of kids still hangin’ ‘round after the show, should be fun.” he finished while changing his t-shirt for a new, fresh one.

“Aye, Al can talk to ‘is new love! What was that bloke’s name?” Jamie teased, finding it extremely amusing to watch Alex’s cheeks getting red and his movement freeze midsentence.

“Ah, you mean Miles? He definitely looked good on the dancefloor, didn’t ‘e?” Nick joined, chuckling at his own poor joke.

“Wankers,” Alex said under his breath, but averted his look to hide his burning cheeks. He quickly finished putting on a denim jacket and with one shoe still untied hurried from the room to escape the laughs.

He sat at the bar, ordering a beer and buried his face into his hands whilst the foam on the top of the glass fell. He heard a shuffle on the bar stool next to him. From in between his fingers he saw a torn up white shirt with black spray painted letters. Realising it was Miles, he uncovered his face, sitting up properly on the stool.

“Umm, hey…er, hope I’m not botherin’ ya,” Miles said and turned to the bartender to order a pint as well.

Alex made the best efforts to try to hide his blush and a sudden change of mood for the better. “Nah, ‘course not,” he replied with a smirk, “nice shirt, eh, again…did you make it yourself?”

Miles’ eyes sparked up, “yes, yes I did! Hope you lads didn’t find it too creepy..I didn’t want to come out as a huge fangirl, or boy, or whatever, but I really do like the tune,” he blurted out the sentence in what appeared to be a fraction of a second, hoping Alex got at least half of what he said.

“Nah, Jamie, our guitar player, actually spotted you before the show and we, eh, we all thought it looked real nice, suh, yeh, mm.” This was the first time Alex properly looked at Miles, realising it was a huge mistake as once their eyes met, he wasn’t able to look away, getting lost in their dark depths. Finally, probably still too late he broke his stare and started to tug on his shirt. Seeing Alex struggle with his words in the same fashion as Miles did made him feel better, but he couldn’t help but smile a little before taking a sip of his drink.

“Lads, don’t be alarmed, but Al may ‘ave just found ‘imself a girlfriend,” Matt declared, one foot from the door of the behind-the-stage room, putting the back of his hand over his mouth to hold in a laugh. The other boys followed him, first their eyes opened wide, ready to fall out of their sockets, then their face turning red from trying to not giggle too much. You see, Alex wasn’t really one to make new friends. He had the boys, they had known each other since childhood and that was it.

Nick began to walk over to the bar before feeling Jamie’s hand across his chest. “Oi, you really wanna interrupt the matin’ ritual?” he roared out with laughter, the rest of the boys joining in. Nonetheless, they still decided to walk over to the two boys drinking beers, wiping tears from their eyes.

“Hey, I’m Matt, this is Jamie and Nick,” Matt introduced himself shaking Miles’ hand and pointing to his two friends with his left hand.

“I’m Miles!” he replied little less awkwardly than before.

“Yeh, we ‘eard, right, Al?” Jamie winked at Alex, earning himself an elbowing below the ribs. Matt decided to move the conversation elsewhere, speaking over Jamie’s grunts.

“Suh, you have a nice city ‘ere,” he started.

“Well I’m not actually from Liverpool, but I live fairly close. Ever ‘eard of Meols? That’s in t’Wirral.” Miles wiggled around on his chair. “But I’m always in the town for gigs ‘n stuff.”

Suddenly, making everyone jump a bit, Matt’s mobile rang. Looking at the caller ID he excused himself, gesturing Alex to order him a beer whilst he was on the phone. Miles took the opportunity during the silent moment to start up a conversation. “By the way, you lads were incredible tonight. Your lyrics are like none I’ve ever heard before,” he beamed.

“Well, thank Turner, our little romantic ‘ere,” Nick smirked, “none of us really ‘ave the nerves to write, but Al loves divin’ into it.” Miles noticed Alex shuffling on his seat, his gaze falling down to his shoes. He could see a little smile forming at the corners of his mouth. 

“Shut up,” he mumbled reaching for his beer. Miles couldn’t avert his stare. Alex was mesmerizing with his still slightly sweaty hair from their performance and a denim jacket clearly too big for him, his skinny wrists peaking out from the sleeves. Nick noticed it, lightly tugging on Jamie’s jacket to look at the sight in front of them. Two skinny boys, both dark-haired, shyly tapping on their beer glasses, altering their gazes at the other person.

Matt broke the silence, welcoming another addition to their little party. “Lads, this is Paul, buy ‘im lots of beers tonight or ‘e won’t let us stay over!”   
Everyone greeted Paul, the bartender already tapping another pint. Throwing some change at the table he drank the beer in a few gulps. “Now we go a bit harder with the alcohol, don’t ya think?” he grinned, “whiskeys all around, please!” he exclaimed. 

They soon moved to a booth in the corner of the pub, already holding the fourth shot of the evening in their hands. Miles slid off the bar stool, and stood on the ground with one leg still mid-air to catch balance. Alex was now leaning on his shoulder, trying to regain his balance as well. They were the last two to sit on the leathery seats, first Alex, then Miles, sitting on his hand by mistake. A girl in a cheetah-print fur coat came over to Miles. Alex could recognize her, she was one of Miles’ ‘groupies’. 

“The girls and I are goin’ home, you joinin’?” she asked sweetly, but you could hear the irritated tone in her voice. 

“Nah, Gracie, I’ll stay with Al and his friends tonight, ‘s that a’right?” Alex couldn’t help but smile when he heard Miles say ‘Al’. No one but his very close friends and family called him that, but he didn’t mind, not the slightest bit.

“Fine…see you Monday.” Silence fell on the group as the girl turned around on her heel and walked away towards the entrance, her friends following her, all giving Miles a slight nod as they went by.

“Damn, they were pretty fit, why didn’t ya go ‘ome with them?..I know I would,” Matt shook his head in disbelief. Miles just shrugged his shoulders, letting the question float unanswered.

As it was nearing one in the morning the band, Miles, and Paul were beyond tipsy, mixing whiskey over vodka over beer and the occasional bowl of crisps.

“Goin’ out for a smoke, anyone wanna join?” Miles asked already searching his pockets for a pack of cigarettes.

“I’ll go with ya,” Alex answered before anyone else had the chance, his voice even rustier when he was pissed.

They stepped out onto the quiet street, the only sound coming from the pub. Miles handed Alex the pack so he could fetch a cigarette for himself while the boy next to him was already lighting his. Alex grabbed the lighter from Miles’ hand, keeping them together for a fraction longer then it is normal to. Miles looked at Alex under the neon light sign saying ‘Zanzibar’, balancing the cigarette between his teeth, careful not to bite through. His stomach jumped a bit at the beautiful sight before him.   
Alex tried to light the cigarette, but after a few failed attempts he cursed, “fuck..s’empty.” Miles chuckled, gesturing him to come closer. With his cigarette in mouth he touched Alex’s to light it, only resulting in a small cloud of smoke. “Shit, nevermind, ‘ere,” he handed Alex his after taking one last long drag.

Alex took it between his thumb and index finger nonchalantly, his alcohol level lowering the fear of burning himself. Miles looked at him once again. His eyes were now only half open, his posture sloppy, but he still looked very handsome. He watched him take a drag of the cigarette, hollowing his cheeks at the action, counting to five, and releasing the smoke into the chilly air. With a smirk he stole the cigarette from Alex, pulling his hand above his head so the other boy couldn’t reach it. They were both laughing, fighting like little brothers. Miles straightened his legs and let himself slide down the wall onto the pavement followed by Alex, struggling to sit beside him rather than on top of him.

“Bollocks, I’m starved,” Alex cursed, letting his head drop onto Miles’ shoulder, hoping his new friend wouldn’t mind. Miles giggled at the swears, knowing very well that Alex was now half dreaming on his shoulder. He couldn’t help but think they fit together like puzzles.


	3. Chapter 3

Matt wiped his fingers across his eyes, sliding down on the leather seat. “Where t’fuck are those two love birds?” he joked with a hint of annoyance in his voice. “Better go look for them, wouldn’t wanna find them frozen on the pavement, or sumthin,” he added. He stood up, still very tipsy, and headed towards the massive black door out of the bar.

“’ow come you like the same exact shit as me, eh?” Miles heard Alex’s voice coming from under his chin. He jumped at the sudden sound, thinking Alex had fallen asleep.

“Huh?” Miles realized he didn’t actually hear what was said; he just enjoyed Alex’s warm breath seeping under his jacket.

“Ya know, The Strokes, The Beatles, Libertines…every-fuckin’-thing,” Alex replied drunkenly.

“Well, it really is strange innit? I mean, they’re not famous bands or anythin’ like that,” Miles teased. 

Alex moved his head from Miles’ shoulder, leaving a vulnerable spot left for the cold breeze to now attack. He looked directly into the taller boy’s eyes; half of his hair scrunched up from when he was lying snuggled under his chin. Alex leaned forward, still keeping his eyes up, not breaking the contact. Miles felt his heart beating faster than ever before. He was scared Alex might hear it trying to rip from under his ribcage. His breathing slowed and he could again feel his stomach jumping inside his body.

Alex was now only centimetres away from his face; he could clearly smell the liquor-infused warm air coming from his half-open mouth. Suddenly, the corners of Alex’s lips started curling, forming a cheeky, almost mischievous grin. He puckered his lips and when he was almost touching noses with Miles he breathed out: “Fok…you.”  
With horrendous laughter he crumbled onto Miles lap, making the other giggle as well. Miles sighed with relief when Alex turned his head around, hoping he wasn’t too obvious as he thought their lips would surely meet. Alex shuffled around on the pavement like a whale onshore, finally getting comfortable, resting his head where Miles’ legs crossed on the ground, his own long legs spread towards the pub’s entrance. None of them minded the frigid ground under them.

Matt busted the heavy door open, but was taken aback after finding the boys bundled together right in front of him. They both looked up, squinting to see who arrived. After realising it was Matt, their smiles faded a bit as they reminded themselves how incredibly strange they must have looked there on the pavement. Alex raised his head up from Miles’ lap, but when hearing Matt’s chuckles, he dropped it back onto the other’s warm thighs, not bothering to explain himself.

“Don’t even bother, Turner, we was just worried you lads were ‘urt or sumthin, you’ve been out ‘ere for quite some time, but I see you’re perfectly… fine,” Matt broke the awkward silence as if he read the expression off of Alex’s face. Still grinning he turned around and walked back to the pub.

“Shit..I suppose we should probably get back there,” Alex mumbled.

“Uhuh, I’m soberin’ up, don’t like that,” Miles replied, trying to wiggle his way up, his back still leaning on the wall.

They reunited with the other boys who looked no better than them. Jamie was lying face down on the table, Nick was quietly sipping on a beer, probably useless to ask how many he’d had, and Paul was chatting up a semi-attractive girl at the bar. Matt appeared behind them, handing both a shot of what appeared to be tequila, sparing the lemons and the salt. Jamie sprung up from his little nap, forehead decorated with marks from the wooden table.   
“Oi, that was a long fuckin’ smoke break!” Alex opened his mouth as if to say something in return, but failing to come up with a decent comeback, he silently sat down with Miles following him.

When Paul noticed the two boys had come back, he pushed the girl who now had her legs entangled with his out of the way, greeting them with open arms. They had no choice but to give in to the drunken hug. He squeezed the soul out of the skinny boys, now more or less lying on top of them in the booth. He awkwardly stood up after a while, crushing their insides. 

“You, drinks..you need drinks!” he gestured towards the bartender, shouting his order. Another set of shots appeared on the table. Soon they were experiencing another wave of drunkenness. Ignoring the conversation others were having, Miles and Alex were giggling and telling stories of their own.

“Mi, Mi, Mi, Miiii, I’m so glad ya came to our gig!” Alex blurted, forgetting the rest of Miles’ name. He examined the other boy’s face, squinting his eyes before talking again. “You woud’ve made a great front man of some fffuckin’ band, ya know that?” he continued to babble, “you are all tall and beautiful, it’s like you was made to live on the stage…I mean, look at ‘ow I shine when I perform, and we look sort’f similar!” Now everyone was listening to Alex’s drunken odes.

“Well you definitely are one of the modestesttt out there,” Matt gave him an intoxicated grin. But Miles didn’t hear anything after Alex let the word beautiful escape from his lips. His cheeks flushed and he silently bit his lower lip, a second later hoping nobody noticed it.

It was getting very late, or more precisely, very early in the morning, but the club was still crawling with people. Matt and Jamie decided to climb onto the stage, spilling beers along the way, eagerly dancing to Girls Aloud, a tune they requested themselves. Paul went around the corner with the girl he picked up earlier and Nick was soundly asleep in the booth, someone’s scarf wrapped around his head.

“Um, I actually do play guitar..and sing a bit, too,” Miles said sleepily. They were sitting in the middle of the club where there had been a screaming crowd of kids just a couple of hours ago. Alex looked at Miles with surprise, putting a bottle of whiskey he somehow acquired during the night next to his leg.

“Whut, why didn’t ya say anythin’!” he formed a wide smile, his cheeks red from drinking.

“Dunno, I’m not nearly half as good as you’re,” Miles replied shyly. He was too tired to keep his body up, so he stretched out on the floor, hoping he didn’t lie in either vomit, or piss.

Alex moved the whiskey out of his way and laid himself out next to Miles. He touched his shoulder, his thumb stroking the boy’s denim jacket. He moved his body a bit closer, his elbow now resting on the floor and hand travelling down Miles’ arm until it stopped on top of his hand. He looked him deeply in the eyes, his nose taking in his smell- a mix of smoke and what appeared to be his aftershave. The smell was so familiar to Alex, although he was sure he had never met this boy before. Miles’ semi-long fringe was falling slightly over his eyes, but just enough for Alex to get lost in them. The other boy smiled lightly at the weight on top of his own hand, turning it around and intertwining his fingers with Alex’s. A warm feeling spread upwards and he closed his eyes, still not sure if he was imagining all of this.  
Miles felt shivers running down his spine. His head felt light, but he couldn’t quite detect if it was from the immense dose of alcohol or Alex’s touch.


	4. Chapter 4

“Al, Al, ‘ey..wake up!” Alex felt a familiar hand on his shoulder. He opened his eyes, but when he felt the stinging and dryness, he closed them again. It took him a while to realise where he was. With the help of his right hand, he prompted himself on the club’s dancefloor. He finally managed to open his eyes. Fighting the pain he looked down at his left hand, which was still entangled with Miles’. He suppressed his smile, not wanting Matt to see it and quickly let go of Miles’ warm hand with a heavy heart.

“What’s up, Matty-boy,” he replied with his voice still not adjusted to speaking.

“Mate, it’s almost six, we goin’ to Paul’s to sleep off t’night,” he replied, now more in pain than drunk. “So, say goodbye to your date ‘ere and let’s get goin’.” Matt stood up from Alex and joined Jamie, Nick, and Paul who were already waiting at the door.

Alex decided to ignore another comment regarding his new friend and stretched out his arms, letting out a yawn, not bothering to cover his mouth. Surprised that Miles still hadn’t woken up, he lightly shook his shoulder. After a few tries, Miles fluttered his eyelashes, squinting from the ground.

“The fffu..” he started, a bit confused. He sat up massaging his temples. “Oh, it’s you, Alex, did I fall asleep….here?” he gestured around, laughing at the unbelievable situation.

“Look, Miles, it’s already six o’clock, so we’re goin’ to go nap at Paul’s for a bit and then ‘ead back t’Sheffield,” Alex explained disappointedly.

“Yeh, sure, f’course! It’s been a rough night for everyone,” he chuckled, “umm, I was wondering if, err, if it were possible that you gave me yer number.” Again sober, Miles struggled with his words, nervously running a hand through his hair. Alex’s face got serious. He wasn’t sure whether Miles remembered them on the floor, all bundled up next to each other, stroking hands and cheeks, or whether he even knew what it meant. Seeing Miles’ face drop his chipmunk smile made his heart skip a beat. He never wanted him to stop smiling. Alex feared the close proximity of the fact that he might never see Miles ever again. During the last eight hours, he dug himself a place in Alex’s heart, which now couldn’t be left bare.

“Take out your phone, Mi,” he said with an ear-to-ear smile, nudging on the collar of the boy's jacket and tracing his fingers along the seams until they were covered by Miles’ messy hair. A teeth-revealing smile again resided on Miles’ face while he quickly searched his pockets. He handed Alex his Nokia so he could type in his phone number.

“Give me a ring, so I ‘ave yer number as well.” Miles took his mobile back and dialed the newly saved number entitled 'Alex- your favourite monkey'. He shook his head at the ridiculousness of the other boy. Alex’s back pocket started vibrating audibly before Miles pressed the red button.

“Well, it was lovely meetin’ ya, mister Modest,” he grinned, “but tell me, ‘ow do your friends call you?” Alex grinned at the other boy’s teases, “Al… ya know, for short,” he said with a cheeky smile, standing up to stretch his legs out. Miles followed him and once they were both standing semi-steady, he hugged him, chin resting on Alex’s shoulder.

“Hope you play in Liverpool soon,” he whispered into the other’s ear.

“Only if you wear this shirt again,” Alex replied, tugging on the other’s white t-shirt.

They gave their final goodbyes, trying to prolong the moment, but when Alex saw his band members annoyingly tapping their feet he had no other choice but to finally separate from Miles. As soon as they stepped out from the club, the early grey skies momentarily blinding them, he felt a sudden emptiness crushing inside him. It was as if someone had reached into his chest and ripped his heart out, instead sticking it inside his throat where he could now feel a big lump. He wasn’t prepared for this, he didn’t want to return back to Sheffield, back to his life without Miles, who within several hours became the closest person Alex has ever had. But he was also confused. He didn’t know what there was between them and even if it would have still happened if they weren’t beyond drunk that night. Alex was known to become rather touchy when he was intoxicated, but this was different. Being so close to Miles left him in a state of high he had never before experienced with anyone else.

They started walking in the direction of Paul’s flat, Alex turning around for the last time to see Miles lighting a cigarette and groggily heading in the opposite direction, probably to catch a bus to where he lived. Alex took the mobile phone out of his pocket searching for the last call without a name. He saved the number as Mi and smiled at the thought of the skinny boy looking him directly in the eyes, the heat of his hand radiating onto Alex’s through their joined fingers. He had to shake those images out of his brain or he wouldn’t be able to function properly for the time being.

“Okay, so now that you’re all alone and vulnerable, care to explain what the fok is there between you and your superfan?” Jamie started as soon as Alex caught up with them. The question shocked Alex, but he knew his best friends were just genuinely curious.

“Umm, dunno really, J…er, yeh,” his inability to form a solid sentence emerged again. “We ‘ave lots in common, too much actually, and ‘e were just real nice to talk to..but I were a wee bit drunk and we cuddled outside the bar and then again in the middle of the pub, and we was holding ‘ands and shit..I really dunno,” he struggled with his answer, playing with his fingernails to distract himself from the awkward situation.

“Did ya snog?” Nick asked excitedly with a cheeky grin.

“N-no! At least I don’t remember…was close to it once, though,” Alex admitted shamefully.

“Does that mean yer into blokes? I mean, never knew that, Al,” Jamie continued, his tone now more serious as he felt Alex get more uncomfortable with the questions.

“Mate, I dunno, it’s all unkerd, can we please change the subject now?” he said, putting a stop to the questioning.

They slept until late afternoon. Alex woke up first, but instantly regretted doing so when he felt his head pulsating. Loud ringing filled the room, reciprocated with grunts and swears from the other, now almost awake, band members. After realising it was his mobile phone, Alex jumped from his nest on the couch where he slept over to his denim jacket, frantically searching for the source of the annoying sound.

“Turner, you better ‘ope it’s not your fuckin’ boyfriend, or I’ll skin you both alive,” Matt threatened from under his covers. Alex’s heart jumped. What if it actually was Miles? Maybe he wanted to see him again before they left. With big hopes he turned over his mobile to see the caller ID, only to find out it was his mum, a bit gutted.

“Shit,” he said under his breath, pressing the green button.

“Al, dear, you didn’t call me after your show, s’everythin’ a’right?” his mother said with a worried tone.

“Yeh, sorry mum, was a bit busy. I just woke up actually and we’ll be headin’ back ‘ome soon, I’ll call you once we’re on the road.” He watched Matt roll over from his bed while his mum was asking more questions about their gig. “Mum, we’ll talk when I get ‘ome, okay? I’ll tell ya everythin’…yeh, love you too,” he said finally and hung up, following Matt to the kitchen.

“Are ya really gonna tell ‘er everythin’? Matt teased once again.

“Well everythin’ that I am able to comprehend meself,” he replied, pushing Matt lightly out of his way to make himself a cup of coffee.

“Al, you know you can talk to me ‘bout owt…we’ve been through this once, remember?” Alex thought back to last summer when he opened up to Matt about a boy he met at a bar he worked at back in Sheffield. Then, as well as now, he was unsure about his feelings and actions towards the other boy, breaking contact with him after a while because he was too scared to face all the new experiences. Matt was the only one out of his friends that knew about this, but others weren’t completely oblivious to the fact that in the last couple years, Alex was lacking a bit in the girl area. 

“Thanks, Matt,” he said after a long pause, “all I know is that last night was one of the best in me life. And I didn’t know what me feelings towards Miles were, but when I laid my ‘ead in his lap, or held his hand, he didn’t push me away. I was a bit scared he might, but I guess he felt the same way as I did..and I still dunno what that is.”

“You’ll work it out, mate,” Matt said comfortingly, putting his hand on Alex’s shoulder. He heard the other boys shuffling around the living room, meaning soon they would be on the road. Alex checked his phone once more to see whether he had gotten a message from Miles, but there was nothing. He made a mental note to spend the two-hour drive back home thinking of a good text to sent to Miles.


	5. Chapter 5

Alex got home later then he had expected in the evening. Their ride had dropped them off at Matt’s house and they were eagerly talking about their next performance. Well, everyone except Alex. He still couldn’t quite wrap his head around the events of his Liverpool night. Shivers ran down his spine every time his mind trailed off to Miles. Even after a two-hour drive to Sheffield he didn’t have a proper message planned out to send to him, secretly hoping the other boy would text first.

Alex didn’t exactly know where this relationship was going and even whether there was anything more between them than soft drunken touches. Miles hadn’t really said anything that would give at least the slightest idea to Alex on where he was standing. All he had was a voice in his head urging him to get in contact with Miles again and the thought of his doe eyes looking longingly into his own.

He threw his bag and guitar on his bed before collapsing on top of them. He excused himself in front of his mum, promising to tell her all about their concert in the morning, once he was fully refreshed. He didn’t bother turning on the lamp, so the bright light from his mobile phone startled him more than the annoying beep. He rolled over to the source of the light, squinting his eyes until they were able to read the small letters. It was a message from Miles.Alex’s heart beat fastened in mere seconds. The other boy must have thought about last night’s escapades as much as Alex did.

_Last night was seriously the best I’ve had in ages, so thank you for taking the pity on a little fangirl who talked your ear off all evening. We should do this again some time. I promise I’ll wear the shirt. Miles_

Alex smiled to himself, reading the text in a scouse accent. He didn’t want Miles to think he was ignoring him, so he quickly typed the first thing that came to his mind.

_Same here. I expect to see you next Saturday at the Liverpool train station. Al_

He instantly felt stupid for writing his name at the end, of course Miles knew who he was talking to. 'Never again, Alex _.'_ He couldn’t help but grin at the slight flirtatious tone he gave the message. Soon enough, Miles replied, first unsure whether Alex was messing with him.

_You really mean it? I’ll be there at any time of the day..wavin my shirt at the platform_

Alex chuckled to himself, unable to stop flirting with the other boy.

 _Does that mean you’ll have nothing on then?_ He replied rather bravely.

He would never have been able to say this in real life, so he took the opportunity now. At least he’ll get a better picture of Miles’ attitude towards him.

 _Hahah, we’ll see. Goodnight x_  

The tiny ‘x’ at the end gave Miles away. Alex had hoped the conversation would last a bit longer, but once he turned his mobile upside down to block the light, he realised just as tired he really was. Knowing this wouldn’t be the last time Miles had texted him late at night, he slipped into a worn out grey t-shirt too big for his small build and a pair of loose pyjama bottoms with a tartan print. His bed was always very comfortable, but after Miles showed him he could make any place hundred times more comfortable, even a pub floor, he sighed heavily.

Alex met up with Nick, Jamie, and Matt in front of the school’s main entrance, breaking his morning walk routine he had with Jamie, shouting out of his window to go without him.

“What took you so long this mornin’?” he asked annoyed, but Alex knew he didn’t actually mean it.

“Sorreh, J, were a bit slow today.”

“Yeh? Got summat on yer mind?” Jamie teased as he did twenty four-seven.

“What are yer inferrin’ to, ‘uh?” already knowing the answer, Alex wholeheartedly elbowed Jamie, “come on, gonna be late for English.”

As soon as Alex sat down at his desk, he knew he wouldn’t be able to focus on any schoolwork. His mind was filled with Miles and Miles only. Suddenly, everything reminded him of those blurry hours between Friday and Saturday. He made it out to lunch time, sitting himself down next to Nick as he tried to remember which class he had come from. No use, Miles now settled himself in the short-term memory part of the brain too.

“’Ey, mate, yer sleeve’s in yer soup!” Matt exclaimed from across the table. “Also, did ya even ‘ear what I were talkin’ about?”

“Err, no, sorry, Matt. Mind repeatin’ it again?” he mockingly flattered his eyelashes before wiping his wet sleeve with a napkin. Matt couldn’t stay mad at him for long, so he asked Alex again.

“I’m plannin’ a little piss up this Saturday, me parents are out t’town, d’like to stay over, since I guess you’ll be stuck at ‘ome readin’ a foking book like you allus do.”

“Actually, I’m goin’ to Liverpool for the day, probably won’t be back until Sunday afternoon,” Alex replied, earning himself wide-eyed stares and open mouths from his friends.

“Oh really? Already meetin’ the family are ya?” Matt grinned, whilst Jamie patted Nick on the back after he started chuckling so hard he swallowed a chunk of bread.

“Oi, fok you!” Alex knew Matt was actually the most supportive out of his friends, letting the tease pass without further comments.

But he did raise a good point. Were they going back to Miles’? He didn’t live in Liverpool, but said his house was fairly close, but still. Alex wasn’t quite prepared to enter Miles’ life so abruptly; he just wanted to get to know the boy better. After all, few drunken hours aren’t exactly the same as knowing someone since preschool like he did his other friends.

He imagined them walking around Liverpool, Miles giving him a tour of his favourite places, finally sitting down on the riverside with a beer bottle each, smoking and chatting about their lives. Maybe, Miles will take his hand, cosying up to him for warmth, planting chaste kisses onto his cheek and neck…

Without even noticing the last period of the day ended and Alex knew he had to get it together until Saturday or he’d just throw himself at Miles at the train station, not caring about the outcome.


	6. Chapter 6

Friday had crept up on Alex too soon. He felt anxious about the next day, unsure of spending most of the weekend with a person he’d only met the previous week. He was excited, very, but he still had doubts. He managed to persuade his mum to let him go to Liverpool, assuring her he’ll be okay and making it extra clear he wasn’t going to visit his girlfriend there. His mother sensed there was something Alex didn’t want to tell her, but having great trust in her boy, she let it go with a slight frown.

_when’s your train arriving? cannot wait_

Miles texted him while Alex was in History. His mobile phone buzzed in his pocket, but luckily the teacher didn’t hear it. The same couldn’t have been said about Matt as he leaned over to Alex to get a better view at the text message. He clearly didn’t have doubts on who it was from.

_11:30, wish it were already tomorrow_

Alex heard a subtle ‘aw’ next to his shoulder as he sent the message.“Calm down, mate, ey?”

“Sorreh, couldn’t contain meself,” Matt apologized with flushed cheeks and returned to his notes.

Alex woke up at half past six the next day. _Only a couple hours until I see Miles_ , he thought to himself as he started packing. He wasn’t exactly sure where he was going to spend the night in Liverpool. Was he going back to Miles’? Or maybe they were just going to get excruciatingly drunk and end up sleeping in some club’s corner.

Finally, he decided to pack a toothbrush, his favourite navy t-shirt, and an extra jumper, hoping this would get him through the weekend. He took some extra money and decided to call Paul to let him know he’ll be in town. Just in case something went wrong with Miles, hopefully not. He gave his mum final goodbyes, ignoring her concerned looks. He swung his black backpack onto his right shoulder and began walking briskly to a nearby bus stop.

He got to the train station with a few minutes to spare, shuffling a beaten-up leather wallet out of his back pocket to buy himself a pack of cigarettes. Alex was hoping to work on some new lyrics on the two-hour journey, but his mind was far from collected. He struggled to keep his thoughts away from Miles, soon giving up. He created different scenarios with the other boy in his head, breathing heavily as every one of them seemed to end up with the two of them kissing at one point or another.

_one more stop, be there soon_

He texted Miles when he heard the announcement. He didn’t get any reply, thinking the other boy was already waiting at the platform as he promised. Alex jumped from the last step on the train. He looked around but Miles was nowhere to be seen. Snuggling up into his denim jacket for warmth he felt a bump growing inside his throat. What if Miles forgot? He was lost, frankly, he had no idea what to do if his friend didn’t show up.

He heard heavy stomps coming from behind him, echoing around the platform. He turned around just in time to get almost tackled by Miles’ hug. “S-sorreh, Al, missed me bus.” The other boy was clearly out of breath, bent over with palms on his knees. Alex pulled him up by his chin and hugged him eagerly with an ear-to-ear smile that only Miles could get from him. His smile got even wider, if that was even possible, as he spotted a familiar white t-shirt with one of his songs on it.

“You didn’t forget!” he said tugging on the shirt and pulling Miles in for a final hug, one that lasted just a bit too long, but none of them protested.

“How could’ve I,” Miles said pulling away from the other one’s embrace.

“Now common, I have to show you ‘round t’city!” He pulled on Alex’s sleeve and started skipping lightly towards the exit. Miles was definitely less awkward now, but Alex liked it. At least one of them had to be.

They stepped out into the city, cold harsh breeze sneaking under their jackets. The taller one shivered, quiet curses escaping from his lips. Alex pushed himself closer unintentionally to keep the heat between them. A thought struck him and he stopped walking, Miles doing so too after a few more steps. He turned around confused only to find Alex hunched over his backpack clearly looking for something. Before he could ask, the boy pulled out a grey woolen sweater and gestured towards Miles. “’ere, put it on.”

“But..aren’t you cold as well?”

“I’ll feel much better when yer won’t be,” Alex replied, well aware of the cheesiness.

Miles put the jumper between his knees with a thankful smile, taking off his black denim jacket. The sweater was a bit too big for Miles and Alex as well for that matter. Alex gazed at how the grey wool draped over his skinny waist and met with his tight dark jeans. Miles felt Alex’s stare on him and frankly, it warmed him more than the extra layer of fabric ever could.

“It suits you,” Alex said so quietly the other boy almost didn’t catch it. But he heard it just fine, blushing extensively.

He began walking again to break the tension. They walked in silence for a couple of minutes just taking in the sights of Liverpool. It was beyond cloudy, but when Alex walked, hand occasionally brushing against Miles’, it felt like the sunniest day of August.

“Are ya hungry? There’s a little pub on the corner there..me favourite actually, if yer wanna,” Miles broke the peacefulness after they were at the end of the road.

“That’s not a bad idea, I am indeed starving,” Alex grinned in response.

It was a classic English pub with wooden tables and big wooden benches, but it didn’t look half as shabby as the ones Alex was used to in Sheffield. Miles picked out a table at the far end, next to a large window with bits of green glass. He sat down with his back against the wooden wall and waved at the waitress as Alex sat down next to him, putting his legs up on the seat, too close, he couldn’t help it. With his chipmunk smile Miles ordered them a beer each until they had their meal picked out. Miles went for bacon and eggs whilst Alex ordered fish and chips. He kicked his feet onto the bench so they ended up right under Alex’s, the heat radiating between them. It was as if they were cuddled in his sitting room.

“So, what do yer ‘ave planned for us today?” Alex asked smiling at the feet under his own bent ones.

“Well, I was goin’ to give you a tour of me hometown and then we can look if there’s anyone decent playin’ tonite..or just get smashed somewhere,” he replied with a grin. Alex’s heart jumped at the thought of drunken Miles hung around him, his touches far from innocent. He shook his head to get rid of the images.

“Yeh, we should continue where we left off last Friday,” he said instead, letting Miles interpret it as he would like.

Their food arrived and Miles dug into it. Alex on the other hand broke small pieces from his fried fish and took tiny bites of his chips, as he would always do. After a few bear-sized bites out of his bacon and eggs, Miles looked at Alex with confusion.

“D’ya not like your food?” It took Alex a few seconds to realise that Miles was not yet acquainted with his eating habits.

“Err, no, s’just ‘ow I eat me food. Sorreh, it must look unkerd.”

“Eh, no, it actually..it’s actually..cute,” Miles said with a boyish smile.

“But ya should hurry real quick or there won’t be anythin’ left for ya,” he continued cheekily, stealing some of the greasy chips from his plate.

“Oi! Give’m back, Mi! I _will_ stab you with me fork,” Alex reached for Miles’ hand to get hold of the chips, but as Miles was just a tad bit taller, he raised his hand up where the other could no longer reach. This appeared to be an ongoing game between the two.

“Ya wanker, I will fight yer.” Alex grabbed him by his wrist and pushed his hand towards his mouth, stealing the chips with his teeth, a smirk forming at the corners of his mouth as he looked Miles directly in the eyes. They didn’t break eye contact, Miles moving his hips closer to Alex, his wrist still in strong hold by the cheeky boy.


	7. Chapter 7

They looked so out of place in the pub. Two skinny boys with dark hair falling into their doe eyes, sitting probably too close to each other. Alex let go of Miles’ wrist, slowly trailing his fingers down to the boy’s waist.

He broke their longing stare and giggled, returning to his food. Miles’ waist burned from the touch. He was disappointed when the shorter boy turned away, but he manage to smile as well. Miles wanted Alex to continue, to take his hand and rub his thumbs over it like he did lying on the dancefloor seven days ago. He wanted Alex to stroke his cheek and burry his head into his chest, but this was not the right place.

They finished eating, or rather Alex did whilst Miles observed his every motion sheepishly. They were standing in the cold once again.

“Where we goin’ now?” Alex asked, pulling his new cigarette pack out of his jeans. He got rid of the plastic and took one out, handing the rest to Miles.

“Ta,” he smiled and took one out as well. He balanced it between his teeth, waiting for Alex to find his lighter. Soon they were both inhaling the smoke. Miles was mesmerized by the way Alex sucked in his cheeks every time he took a drag of his cigarette, exposing his perfect bone structure.

“Come on, Al, we need to keep movin’ or we’ll freeze t’death.” Alex loved it when Miles called him that.

It was nearing five o’clock and the sky was beginning to get darker. They had been walking for hours, talking about each other, and realising even more how similar they really were. Miles would stop once in a while and drag Alex into his favourite record shop or a student’s house where he would hung out with his friends. Their legs were beginning to hurt, so they decided to grab a few bottles of beer at a corner shop.

“This is the grand finale, Al!” Miles said, picking up as many beers as he could hold from the shop’s fridge, “I’m gonna show you me little hidin’ place, so ya better feel pretty special right now.”

Alex didn’t know what to expect, but he definitely felt more than special. He took a few bottles out of Miles’ grip and grabbed a bottle of vodka with his free hand – “just to keep us warm.” They stuffed their ‘freshly eighteen years old’ groceries into Alex’s backpack and Miles took the lead. He was walking swiftly, excited to show Alex his favourite place in Liverpool. They walked two blocks down to the river when Miles stopped at the doors to a tall brick building.

It looked like an abandoned school, but when Alex spotted the concert posters in the hallway it became clear to him that it was some kind of a concert venue. They walked inside, but didn’t follow the loud noises coming from what appeared to be the bar. Miles turned right to a staircase, but when he saw the skeptical look on Alex’s face he leaned against the railing.

“Don’t be scared, ain’t gonna assault ya and sell yer organs somewhere,” he said with a grin.

“Well, it sure looks tha’ way,” Alex looked around the place. But before he could say anything else, Miles took his hand and dragged him up the stairs. Alex would do anything in the world if only to get Miles to touch him.

They got to the first floor, but Miles continued walking up. They passed the second and the third floor and then the staircase narrowed. Miles fished for something in the back pocket of his skinny jeans and Alex caught himself staring again. With a silent ‘heureka’ he took out a small bronze key and walked up to the end of the staircase where a small metal door blocked the way. He opened it with a few mumbled curses and held the heavy door for Alex to walk through.

He found himself standing on the roof of the building. The view was incredible and the city looked magical against the almost black sky. He jumped slightly as Miles released the door with a loud thud. Alex wasn’t able to close his mouth; he was in complete awe. This was so… _romantic_? No, he couldn’t say that, although that is really what it was.

Warm fingers intertwined with his again as Miles lead him around the roof to an old maroon leather sofa. It was placed under a small makeshift roof; otherwise it wouldn’t have lived long in the horrid English weather. Miles sat down and gestured Alex to do so too with his hand.

“This is…unbelievable, Mi!” Alex was still amazed.

“Thought you’d like it. Is where I go to write me songs and ponder the great questions of life,” Miles replied with gleaming eyes.

“Oh, don’t tell me yer write songs as well! We should’ve started a double act,” Alex elbowed him softly, “’ow did yer find this place anyway?”

“Me dad used to own the club downstairs, so I basically grew up here. No one is allowed on t’roof, tough, I’m the only one with keys” he smirked.

This was the happiest Alex felt in weeks, even months. It was the same sort of feeling he got from performing his band’s new songs, but this was more intimate. Miles was the only one there and the only one that really mattered. He was still unsure about their relationship, but he decided to put the insecurities away and buried his head into Miles’ chest like he wanted to do since morning. Luckily for him, the other boy didn’t push him away, but draped his hands over Alex’s shoulder. Miles moved his hand slowly towards Alex’s face, when suddenly he ran it through his hair, messing it up to the point it looked like a little bird’s nest.

“Get me a beer ya little cuddler,” he said still giggling at his childish ways. Alex scrunched his nose in protest, smoothing down his hair and reaching for his backpack to pull out two beers and the vodka as well, just in case.

“You ‘ave to show me yer songs one day, ya know?” Alex said while opening his beer.

“No, I’ll be embarrassed sharin’ me little scribbles with the Sheffield’s finest poet. I only write to get me mind clear and I sometimes add a few chords to it, but is really nothin’ compared to you lads.”

“I’m sure yer beyond good, Mi, believe me.”

“But you never even heard me play..”

“And that needs t’change real quick,” Alex replied, taking Miles’ hand between his own, examining every crease and scar. Miles could feel shivers on his back from Alex’s gentle touches.

He couldn’t hold it in anymore. _Just a few more beers, so it will be easier to explain_. He shifted closer to Alex, craving his touch, but also feeling rather cold. He screwed open the vodka bottle with the hand that wasn’t being carefully observed and took a large sip.

“Oi, careful there, or ya won’t remember me tomorrow,” Alex said, taking the bottle from him to take an equally big sip.

“As if I was gonna forget you,” he smirked.

They stayed in each other’s warm embrace until half of the beers were gone and the vodka wasn’t looking any better. Slowly their restraints got looser. Alex had his head in Miles’ lap, his legs taking up the rest of the couch. Miles played with his hair, telling him a story about how he broke a drum set in music class, his words now slurred and his accent stronger.

“Mi, I’m so fokin’ glad I met yer.” He took both of Miles hands and waved them above his head.

“Me too, Al. I haven’t had this much fun in ages, we have so much in common, s’unbelievable,” Miles’ chipmunk smile appeared as Alex twisted and turned his arms around.

Suddenly, their eyes met, Miles looking down at Alex. He could feel the tension. It wasn’t an awkward one, he just didn’t know how to proceed and clearly the other boy didn’t as well. Alex couldn’t contain himself any longer. Without breaking the gaze he prompted himself from Miles’ lap and was now just a few centimetres away from his face. His eyes fell down to Miles’ lips and back up to meet his eyes again. This was it. The alcohol numbed his senses. Without thinking he pressed his lips against Miles’.


	8. Chapter 8

Alex broke the kiss, separating himself from Miles by only a few millimetres, so he could see into his eyes.

“I…I’m so sorr..” Alex was in the middle of his slurred apology when Miles put his hand behind his ear and pushed him into another kiss, this one more passionate.

The bitter taste from the beers mixed with vodka and the occasional cigarette made the kisses real. Alex could actually feel it was Miles he was kissing; from now on these were the scents he would associate with the boy. He was nibbling on Miles’ bottom lip, grabbing every piece of his body that he had in close proximity. His hand slipped under the taller boy’s shirt, the shirt that started it all, and he gently pulled at his back. Miles took over, pushing Alex down on the rooftop couch with his hands entangled in his hair.

It was mesmerising. The touches were gentle, but full of passion that had accumulated over the week. Miles wasn’t sure what had got into him. He had never felt this way with a boy. There were a few times when he’d got so drunk he ended up making out with random boys in some pub’s corner, but this had far away from that. It was a connection beyond comprehensible with Alex. They just clicked with each other, both mentally and physically.

Alex broke the kiss off for the second time, his eyes gleaming with happiness as he pulled off. He stroked Miles’ cheek and tried to sit back up, but the other boy was determined to keep him lying on the sofa. Miles wiggled on the warn out leather couch for a while, accidently pushing different limbs into Alex’s stomach until he settled down next to him, shoulders touching and both of them looking up at the sky.

“This is so fokin’ cliché, Mi,” Alex giggled.

“Don’t pretend you aren’t enjoyin’ this,” he turned slightly onto his side and slung his arm over Alex’s chest. He felt the boy’s heartbeat fasten, but left it without a teasing comment, only smirking for himself into his chest.

“Miles…”

“Ehh,” he was interrupted.

“Wha’?”

“It’s just that I’ve got so used to yer calling me Mi, it’s weird to hear me full name,” he explained with a shy smile.

“Sorreh, _Mi_ …we are not goin’ t’sleep ‘ere right?” Alex joked, but he was genuinely concerned about the possibility.

“Don’t worry. I mean, it’s pretteh romantic here, but we’ll go downstairs, I have me backup bedroom there.”

Alex smiled at the response, but he didn’t want to get up from the boy’s intoxicated embrace. “Just a few more minutes, ‘kay?”

“Sure,” Miles’ lips brushed against his jaw lightly.

Soon, to Alex protesting sleepily, they picked up their jackets and bags, taking only the full bottles of beer and leaving the rest scattered around the roof. Miles again went first down the stairs, clutching onto the railing in order to not tumble down. They went down one flight of stairs and stopped before a wooden door with a poster of The Beatles with duct tape on each corner at the end of the hallway.

“Brace yourself, haven’t been here in a while, so it might be a bit messy,” Miles said opening the door with a rustic-looking key.

A light stale stench attacked their nostrils as the door swung open. Miles was right; it was a bit of a mess. There were wine bottles and stomped-on cigarette packs amidst a few records and sheets of paper that strongly resembled lyrics on the ground.

Alex’s eyes found themselves staring at an empty glass with bright red lipstick smeared on the rim. He couldn’t help but imagine Miles there with a girl, probably fooling around on the mattress in the middle of the room where they were now going to sleep. He was a very attractive boy, how could have Alex never thought about him going out with girls, or boys for that matter?

Miles sensed the sudden quietness of the room and trailed his gaze onto whatever Alex’s eyes were looking at.

“Gracie was here a coupla days ago,” he said as if reading Alex’s mind.

“The girl from our show?…And you two ‘ave never…?” he didn’t quite know how to finish the sentence or why he had even started it.

“Oh, no no no, she’s me best friend…just that,” Miles replied quickly.

“Are you gettin’ jealous?” he continued with a smirk, getting closer to Alex. He laced his fingers around his waist and kissed him teasingly.

“Me? No, f’course not..” Alex said between the kisses.

He moved onto Alex’s neck, leaving light purple marks as his mouth travelled along his slender body. With one hand he pulled off his denim jacket off the shoulder, his kisses getting rougher, but still very innocent. Alex had to laugh slightly at the situation. If someone had told him twenty-four hours ago what he’d be doing above a Liverpudlian pub with a boy he had met only a week ago, he wouldn’t have believed it. Though he had sincerely hoped for it.

They made their way to the floor mattress, collapsing onto it with laughter and unable to keep their hands off of each other now. Both of them knew it wouldn’t evolve into something more; just kisses, love bites, and drunken embraces. They weren’t ready for anything else, and frankly, this was more than enough for both. Miles took his jacket off and stood up to fetch them blankets from a nearby chair and turn the light off on his way. In the dark he slid off his skinny jeans as well as they would make for terrible pyjamas. He was again lying next to Alex, only in his band t-shirt and gesturing Alex to take his jeans off as well. Once they were both only in their shirts and boxers, Alex turned around to face the other boy, pecking him before entangling their legs and arms together and falling into a heavy, alcohol-infused sleep.


	9. Chapter 9

His eyelids fluttered against the bright morning sun. It took him a few moments to recount the events of the previous night, but one quick look at the figure beside him brought back everything immediately. Miles was still soundly asleep, his chest rising and falling half-covered by a blanket. Alex had his eyes fixed on the boy’s collarbones peaking out of his baggy shirt, moving with every breath.

He managed to avert his gaze and decided to look around the room better as he hadn’t had time for that the previous night. His temples were throbbing slightly from the amount of alcohol the two drank and standing up definitely didn’t help the situation. He staggered slightly, regaining his balance before he toppled onto the still sleeping boy. Same as the previous night, a few sheets of paper on the floor caught his eye.

Alex walked over and picked them up, examining them one by one. He was right yesterday – they were in fact lyrics. Well, scribbles with little pen drawings over them, but Alex was sure they were lyrics; his own looked very similar. _Well, it’s wonderful and glorious_

_To have the shit kicked out of us_

_For dressing slim and keeping shaggy heads_

Alex read through the almost illegible writings, turning the paper in different degrees as the words were scattered all around.

_The doormen took to their chips_

_While we fashionably took a pasting_

_Then came down to give us a kick_

_From the doorway that we had laid in_

He took another paper and guessing the words were meant to be from the same song he put them down next to each other, taking yet another sheet between his fingers.

_All those tears you cried_

_Make you hard to like,_

_Go and earn your depression,_

_Won’t you._

He heard movement behind him, which made him tear away from the lyrics.

“Mornin’,” Miles said in a deep morning voice.

“Look who decided to wake up,” Alex smiled back at the boy still covered up in blankets.

Suddenly, Miles’ gaze fell on the papers, which Alex had in his hands.

“Hey, what’re yer doin’!” Miles exclaimed, completely forgetting his sleepiness and jumping up from the mattress.

“Are these yours? D’you write them?”

“Err..just give’em back, Al!” He threw himself onto Alex with fear in his eyes and embarrassment on his cheeks, trying to snatch the lyrics from his hands.

He could hear Alex squealing under him as he managed to retrieve his writings. He sat down on the floor and helped Alex sit up next to him.

“Thanks for not overreactin’ or anythin’,” he said with a smirk and rubbed his hand, which had visible marks from Miles’ grip.

“Sorreh,” Miles smiled apologetically, “just didn’t want anyone to read me shit songs…especially not you”

“Why’s that, Mi?”

“Well, yer like this amazing little song-writer and I just scribble down words when I’m half drunk on the settee up on t’roof. Don’t want yer judgin’ me writin’,” he continued shyly.

Alex looked up at the other boy, completely thrown off by his words. He got on his knees and shuffled himself right in front of Miles. With one hand he tucked a piece of Miles’ fringe behind his ear and with the other placed on his chest he pushed him down onto the floor, landing on top of him. Miles giggled as Alex started to kiss his neck and tickle him lightly below the ribs.

“I think they’re real good,” Alex said surprisingly seriously as he stared Miles into the eyes, “but what would make it better’s if yer were to sing them to meh,” he nuzzled into his neck again.

“Yer not just sayin’ that so you can continue t’kiss me, right?”

“Not at all.”

Although he was saying the truth, he separated his lips from Miles’ neck and moved closer and closer to his jawline. He wasn’t able to resist him. Alex was careful before, but after he got a taste of what being so close to Miles felt like, he got audacious… too much maybe. He played with the boy’s bottom lip, which stretched into the chipmunk smile he loved so much. Miles wrapped his arms around Alex’s waist, his fingers intertwined under his shirt.

“When d’you have to leave?” Miles asked between kisses.

“Oi, good way to ruin t’atmosphere!” Alex replied jokingly, but Miles could see sadness peaking from behind his happy gaze.

“Me train’s leaving at noon,” he continued.

Miles unlaced himself from Alex and went to search for his phone. Alex put his head between his legs, as he didn’t want to be too obvious staring at the boy who was only wearing his pants and a t-shirt. He could hear Miles bare feet wandering around the room.

“Shit,” Miles exclaimed brokenheartedly, “it’s already quarter to eleven!”

“Noo,” Alex stretched out his bottom lip childishly, his eyes glistening as beautiful as ever.

Miles felt a lump forming in his throat just by looking at the boy sitting on his knees in the middle of the room. He didn’t want him to leave; they had become attached by the hip.

“Come on, I’ll make yer coffee and we’ll catch a bus to t’station,” Miles said finally, extending his hand towards Alex so he could help him stand up.

Miles didn’t seem to bother with putting more layers of clothing on, or even shoes. Still holding Alex’s hand he dragged him out of the room, down the hall and another flight of stairs where a rusty kitchen worktop and stove were present. He picked up two relatively clean mugs and boiled the water. Once they were both holding their steaming cups of coffee to cure their hangover, he gestured Alex back to his room.

“Mi, I don’t want t’go.”

“I don’t want yer to go either, but I’ll come visit you soon,” Miles hugged him tightly, but careful enough not to burn them both with his coffee. Alex pushed Miles off slightly so he could look him in the eyes, his own glistening with happiness.

“Yer would come t’Sheffield for me?” Miles raised his brows at the obvious daftness of the question and pecked Alex sweetly instead of answering.

“We should get goin’, although I wouldn’t mind if you missed yer train,” he smirked.

They put their trousers back on, brushed each other’s hair playfully with their fingers, and set the empty mugs by the mattress. The train station was buzzing with people leaving and returning home, couples giving their goodbye kisses, and two skinny boys with hair too long walking perhaps too close side-by-side.

They still had five minutes to spare before Alex’s train was due to arrive, so they sat down on the platform’s stone floor, with their back against one of the many pillars. Miles laced his fingers with Alex’s under their denim jackets. He laid his head onto the boy’s shoulder, hoping the people around him would brush it off without any comments or looks. He could feel Alex’s warm breath on the top of his head. Even though they were still next to each other he already began missing him.

“Al, before you go, I…there’s sumthin’ I wanted to ask you,” he said nervously and noticed Alex’s heartbeat fastening next to his ear.


	10. Chapter 10

Alex unwrapped his hand from Miles’, making him lift his head off of his shoulder. He was now looking directly at Miles, unsure and quite frankly worried about what he was about to say.

“Al..what is this…I mean, what are we?” he wasn’t able to put his words into a full sentence, but luckily Alex caught on. He wasn’t exactly an expert on speaking fluently and clearly himself.

“I dunno,” he sighed, but seeing Miles sadden he continued, “all I know is that I like you…and I like kissin’ you…a lot. But I’ve never been with a bloke before, as anything serious..” he trailed off.

Miles grabbed his hands again, squeezing tightly, and pulled him closer, hard to believe that was even possible. He half-smiled at Alex and leaned in to kiss him before the boy had time to protest and remind him they were in public.

“We’ll figure it out.”

Miles stayed at the platform until Alex’s train disappeared completely, waving him a shy goodbye. Both of the boys felt an instant wave of loneliness approaching them. There was definitely something missing from their lives, and that thing was a similar-looking boy by their side. Alex got out his notebook specifically dedicated for writing songs and worked on some new lyrics as he had intended before, but of course his mind had trailed off to Miles. A smile was carved onto his face and he wasn’t able to get rid off it; the weekend went exactly as he had imagined, even better. He replayed the taste of Miles’ lips and the feeling of his hands underneath his shirt. He had to fight the urge to get off at the next stop and catch a train back to Liverpool, not knowing Miles’ thought process was quite similar while he managed to escape the hectic buzz of the train station.

Alex got home, immediately being interrogated by his mother until he was able to escape her questions with poor excuses about unfinished schoolwork. He did in fact have some school assignments due the next day, but as he was slowly becoming accustomed to, his thoughts were again with Miles. The lyrics Miles had written and had been so embarrassed about showing to Alex rang in his head. In an impulse he slung his arm towards his mobile phone and searched for Miles’ number. It rang two times before now a very familiar voice answered.

“Err, gettin’ a bit needy there, are we?” Miles couldn’t help but tease.

“Are ya ‘ome?” Alex blurted quickly.

“Ye..yes.”

“Play me the song I found this mornin’!”

He was sure Miles had a guitar in his room and knew the words to his song without a doubt.

“Al, no..why..yer crazy?”

“Pleeeeeaase,” Alex wasn’t going to give up so easily.

“If this’s goin’ to become a regular thing, me embarassin’ myself for your pleasure..”

“Yer bet it is, love,” he cut Miles off with a smirk, “now, come on!”

Alex waited until Miles fetched his guitar, only able to hear shuffling and mild curses over the phone.

“Promise me yer won’t laugh.”

Alex hummed reassuringly in response. He heard the light strumming of the guitar as Miles set his phone down next to him. Alex was melting already, but when Miles started singing, his heart stopped beating for what seemed like hours.

“Al, you there?” Miles picked up his phone again once he stopped singing the eight short lines of his song. Alex was in a trance.

“And ‘ere I thought you couldn’t get any more perfect,” he said finally, after pulling himself back together.

He heard Miles chuckle on the other side of the phone call, practically envisioning his blushing cheeks and sheepish posture. They continued to talk on the phone, flirting and teasing each other, until Alex’s mum called him down for tea.

“Al, dear, you still haven’t told me anythin’ about your trip t’Liverpool,” she said disappointedly, handing him tea in his favourite mug.

“Eh, sorreh..it were fun. Miles is real easy to talk to and we ‘ad a great time,” he said whilst sipping on his tea, trying to suppress his blush at every mention of the other boy.

“Oh, is that the friend you met at the show?” she asked lovingly.

“Yeh, we ‘ave tons in co..” he replied excitedly before stopping mid-sentce after he processed her words, “wait..how did you know?”

“Matthew told me, dear. Did you expect me to let you off to another city for the weekend without doin’ some research first?” she smiled at him mischievously over the table; definitely a trait he had inherited from her.

Alex failed at his attempt to not blush, wondering what else Matt could have told her about the show and more importantly, about Miles. Alex, now beyond flustered, took off back to his room, tea still in his hand. He was mentally cursing Matt and he couldn’t wait until the next day to confront him.

He approached his three best friends in front of the school, apologising again to Jamie for not walking with him.

“Sooo, ‘ow was Liverpool?” Matt slung his arm around Alex’s shoulders with a teasing smirk.

“Oi, not talkin’ to you, yer fookin’ blabbed me out to me mum!” Alex pushed Matt’s arm off of his shoulder.

“Mate, I didn’t say nowt, just that yer made a new friend, s’all,” he explained and continued once again when he saw that Alex had calmed down, “speaking of yer new friend..how’s Miles?” “Yeh, he’s fine. We ‘ad a blast,” Alex replied in a better mood, but tried to stay looking mad as long as possible to rub it in Matt’s face.

“Did you fuck already?” Jamie jumped into the conversation, getting straight to the point. This just resulted in a smack over the head by Nick, who frankly wanted to ask the same thing, but phrase it a bit differently.

“What? No! F’course not!” Alex could feel his cheeks burning at the thought of it. He had to shake his head to get rid of the images that filled his brain.

“Yer owe me 5 quid, J!” Matt reached his hand out towards Jamie with a winning grin on his face.

“You twats betted on whether me and Mi would sleep together?!” Alex wasn’t exactly angry, but he found it extremely uncomfortable to know his friends had been talking about his personal, and this time _very personal_ , life behind his back.

“Sorry, Al, we ‘ad to! Jamie wouldn’t shut up about you going to Liverpool just to shag yer new friend at me party, so we placed bets. I said you two would only snog each other’s arses off, but he went for the whole deal! Al we was too pissed, it were just fun.”

“But..’ow did you..why did you even think that would happen? Any of it.”

“Come on Al, we aren’t completely daft, you couldn’t keep yer hands off of Miles the whole night at our gig!” Jamie interrupted again, “we know yer fuckin’ bent, s’no big deal.”

Alex didn’t know how to respond. He had always thought his friends were completely oblivious to this fact because Alex himself tried to ignore it for a long time. The news hit him like a brick over the head and he was only brought back into the real world when Matt shouted his name repeatedly.

“But you did at least snog, right? I cannot fokin’ lose twice, mate,” Matt continued once Alex was back from his daydream.

He flustered, looked down at his shoes and mumbled something about being late, which of course none of his friends bought.

“We ‘ave ten more minutes, mate, just spit it out!” Jamie urged Alex.

“YES! For fuck’s sake!” he exclaimed probably too loud as a few other kids turned their heads towards them, but Alex was annoyed.

He left the three boys with jaws dropped behind him and made his way up to the school’s entrance. He was no longer in the mood to be teased about Miles. He was walking swiftly towards his English class when he felt the weight of two hands on both of his shoulders. Matt and Nick were able to catch up with him, looking quite ashamed about their previous actions, and he could feel another person breathing heavily behind him, surely Jamie.

“Sorreh, Al, we didn’t mean to upset you, just that we’re real curious,” Nick apologised, but Alex didn’t feel like answering.

They walked in silence for a good few minutes until Matt asked again, this time trying to be as innocent as possible. “So…’ow was it?” Alex felt himself blushing again and it bothered him how much this had been happening to him recently. He thought back to the moment just before he kissed Miles for the first time on the rooftop above the music pub. He could feel butterflies forming in his stomach and he swore he could taste Miles’ vodka-laced lips again.

“It were good…’ell, amazing. Probably the best kiss in me life,” he was now beaming with happiness.

Luckily, none of his friends laughed this time or made snide comments, just smiled at the genuineness of Alex’s answer. Under all the teasing they were incredibly happy for Alex. How couldn’t they be? They were practically brothers. Matt patted him on the shoulder lovingly when they stopped in front of his English classroom and they went their separate ways.


	11. Chapter 11

October rolled over into an even colder November and Miles and Alex had been texting and calling each other for weeks. Unfortunately they weren’t able to meet up again after Alex’s weekend in Liverpool, so hour-long phone calls and not-so-subtle flirting over the phone had to suffice them both. Alex almost burst out of happiness when the Monkeys got an opportunity to play one of the local music clubs. Not because it was another opportunity to showcase their band, well, yes, but more importantly, it was a chance to see Miles in person again.

Alex felt awkward inviting the other boy over to Sheffield because he, in comparison to Miles, didn’t have a cool secret bedroom above a pub where they could spend the night. _Miles would have to sleep at his house_. So when the owner of The Boardwalk asked them to do a gig it became the perfect excuse to invite Miles.

_we’re playing this thursday in sheffield, care to come? x_

Miles was quick to reply with an excited message, his stomach squeezing just at the mere thought of Alex next to him, close to him. It had been over a month since he last saw Alex and it wasn’t enough. He craved the other boy’s presence in an almost unhealthy matter.

They’d come up with a perfect plan. Miles would jump on a train Thursday afternoon and make it to the band’s soundcheck, so he could hang out with Alex as much as possible. Alex had already told his mother he would sleep over at Matt’s after the show, as they didn’t have school the next day. _Thank god for the principal taking mercy on his students_. He, of course, left out a tiny detail, that Miles was sleeping over as well.

Thursday came around quickly to a lot of anticipation. The band had practiced the whole week leading up to the gig in Matt’s garage, respectively.

“Aren’t ya walkin’ with us?” Jamie shouted towards Alex after they had all managed to get out of their last period.

“Nah, I’m goin’ to pick up Mi at the station, remember?” he answered trying to cover up his excitement to avoid a wave of teasing comments at his part, especially from Jamie.

“Right, sorreh, get yer boyfriend and we’ll meet at t’Boardwalk, okay?” Jamie winked at Alex, not bothering to speak quieter even though they were surrounded by tonnes of other students. Alex shot him a deadly look and turned around on his heel, walking briskly away to hide his reddened cheeks.

Alex felt like he should surprise Miles somehow. _Buy him flowers?_ He might have come to terms with being gay, but that was too much even for him. _Wave a fucking welcome poster?_ Everything he came up with was too cheesy and not like him at all. He finally settled for the least cliché thing his secret romantic side could think of. He took out a piece of paper from his backpack and folded it to create a rather small card. With few minutes to spare until Miles train would arrive, he settled on a bench on the platform and took out a marker.

Alex was too immersed in his creation that he didn’t notice the train had arrived, although the loud breaks pierced through everyone else’s ears.

“What you doin’ there, ha?” a smirky whisper made Alex jump from his seat and drop everything he was holding. That didn’t matter at the moment though, as his eyes lit up when he saw Miles in the flesh, leaning over the bench. Without even thinking about it anymore, it was a necessity, he cupped Miles’ face and pulled him into an eager kiss. Miles let out a noise of protest because leaning over the bench wasn’t the best position to be pulled into a kiss, but he quickly gave into it as well. Alex broke it off with a smile plastered on his face, “’Ello” was all he managed to breathe out, still holding Miles’ face in his hands.

“You have no idea how painful the last month was without you,” Miles sighed contently, walking around the bench to sit next to Alex.

“What d’you have there, Al?”

Only now Alex noticed the card and the black marker he had dropped upon Miles’ arrival. He picked it up and handed it over to Miles with a worried smile.

“I felt like I should greet you with summat, but flowers are for elderly couples..and fuckin’ cheesy too, so I made ya this,” he explained, running his hand through his hair- his habit when things got too awkward for him.

Miles examined the card carefully. The paper was rimmed with a black marker and had _‘access all areas_ ’ and ‘ _Arctic Monkeys, The Boardwalk, November 18th 2004_ ’ written on it in nice fancy letters. His eyes beamed as he looked up at Alex and instead of saying anything, he grabbed him by his jacket into another kiss.

“Al..this..is too…sweet,” he mumbled between the kisses, wrapping his feet around Alex’s ankles. Miles completely forgot he was in public, until Alex pulled him away with an embarrassed smile that said he would like to continue, but not in the middle of a train station.

“Lads, you remember Miles,” Alex greeted the rest of the band as they were already fumbling with their instruments on the small stage.

“’ow could we forget!” Matt jumped down to meet Miles in a side hug.

Now that he had thought about it, Miles didn’t really know the other boys at all. He was so immersed in conversation with Alex that night that he blatantly ignored the others, but they seemed very nice. He knew he would get along with them like he did with Alex..well, sparing the kissing and sleeping with entangled limbs.

“Good to see you again, mate…err, thanks for lettin’ me stay over tonight.”

“F’course, me pleasure,” Matt replied, giving a smirk in Alex’s direction who, as it was now a regular thing, started blushing and instead went to take out his guitar from the case.

Miles had again taken his position right under the stage, singing along to every song Alex and the boys produced and Alex could now imagine how wonderful his voice sounded. He wanted to stop singing himself, shush the crowd, and let Miles sing through the whole show. He kept glancing at him, winking not too subtly as he went on to sing the more racy lyrics.

As it now became a sort of a routine, the band ended the gig with ‘I Bet You Look Good on the Dancefloor’, but Alex was too afraid to dedicate it to Miles even though that’s what he’d planned to do. There were too many kids from his school trying to get laid by saying they were friends with the band and people he knew around Sheffield and he wasn’t too keen on revealing that he was gay to any of them. In the short amount of time between Nick was adjusting his bass and Jamie shuffling with his pedals, he tried to come up with a way to tell Miles the song was for him and for him only. Not that it was even remotely important, but Alex felt like he had to express his emotions onstage, which surprised him as he wasn’t really a fan of even being on the stage in the first place. But Miles made his worries disappear within seconds with his wide smile and shimmering eyes that always found their path to Alex’s.

“This is our last song,” he started with a heavier accent than he spoke with in Liverpool, “I’m sure you’ve all been waitin’ just for this one…and there’s a special someone I’d like to dedicate this song too,” a group of boys in his year wooed from the back of the crowd, “..don’t worry, I won’t be talkin’ too long, know it’s fokin cheesy and what not…but don’t believe the ‘ype, darlin’.”

Alex caught Miles’ flushed face in the corner of his eye before turning to Jamie and battling with his guitar until the song ended with a loud applause.

“God, Al, you’ve become such a mope, we can’t ‘ave you hangin’ out with Miles no more or we’ll be like fokin Coldplay or summat like that!” Matt exclaimed as they got off the stage, Jamie and Nick were sure to follow with more teases.

“Sorreh, can’t help meself! You’re gonna ‘ave to find a new frontman, otherwise you’ll be hearing my love poems every time we perform dancefloor,” he smirked.

“Still can’t believe you’re fuckin’ gay, Al..” Jamie shook his head.

“Yeah, we haven’t ‘ad the slightest idea, mate! Which one of us would you fancy, eh?” Nick winked at Alex, swaying his hips as he did so, just to see how far he could push Alex until he stormed out of the room.

“Don’t flatter yerself, Mal. I’m attracted to Miles, he’s twice as handsome as all of you together..I mean, ‘ave you seen those hips?!”

Alex stopped his ramble when he realised it had got quiet in the room. He slowly turned around only to see Miles in the door. Alex could feel his cheeks getting red and a wave of heat flushed over him, different from the one he got when performing. He hoped Miles hadn’t been standing there too long to hear him talk about his hips, but the flirtatious smirk that crept up on Miles’ face had him no longer looking for an answer.

“So yer like my hips, don’t you Turner?” Miles rested his hand on his waist, trying his hardest to tease Alex. He could hear the chuckles coming from the rest of the band.

“I..err, sorry..didn’t know you were..eh, standin’ there,” Alex failed to put together a single sentence, so he brushed his fingers through his hair. Miles just smirked again and walked towards Alex, closing the distance between them with a deep kiss.

“Lads, please!” Jamie exclaimed partly out of disgust and partly out of pure amusement.

Miles seemed to ignore them and instead leaned closer to Alex’s ear and whispered, “don’t worry, you’ll see more of them tonight.”


	12. Chapter 12

It was embarrassing how fast Alex’s heartbeat quickened. Tonnes of different images, only a few of them innocent, flashed in front of his eyes as Miles whispered into his ear. At times like these both of them completely forgot how awkward they actually were, tossed it behind their backs, and flirted with each other as if they had done it countless of times before. The truth being the exact opposite- Alex had only dated about three girls, none of whom he stayed with for long and as far as to his knowledge, Miles wasn’t any better.

After a few pints they decided to walk to Matt’s place, leaving their gear behind at the club to pick it up the next day. Although they were all far from being completely smashed, they still found it difficult to walk in a straight line next to each other. Jamie and Matt were in the front because the pavement was too narrow for all of them to walk beside each other. They were arguing about a girl they were both after at the pub, but they weren’t actually mad, just a childish play. Nick walked behind them, occasionally tripping over his own feet, but he kept quiet the whole time. He often got silent when drunk, probably the alcohol numbing his abilities to speak or think.

Alex and Miles were the last. Miles had one hand around Alex’s waist to keep him from falling over and also to keep him close. Alex had his head placed in the crook of Miles’ shoulder, not really paying attention to where he was walking, so the job of navigating had to be done by Miles. He quickened his step to keep up with the boys in front of him when he felt something warm on his neck. Miles looked down only to find Alex slowly kissing his neck, nuzzling deeper into his hair and jacket. He smiled at the image.

He still couldn’t get over how much his life had changed in the last month. Miles had never experienced so many new feelings in such a short time, but with Alex everything felt right. It was as if they had know each other for all their lives, they developed a strange connection where they didn’t even have to talk, but the other person understood everything. Still, he wasn’t sure what exactly their relationship meant. They kissed as if they had been going out for years, they played childishly as if they were little brothers, and they exchanged conversations on the level of an old married couple. Alex bit down on the tender skin on Miles’ neck making him wake up from his reverie.

“Al, s-stop,” he tried to stay serious, but let out a sigh that instantly prompted Alex to continue and leave more love bites. They giggled as Alex sucked harder on the skin and travelled under Miles’ shirt with his hand, somehow fusing their boyfriend-brother sides of their relationship.

“Miles, what, what’s that on your neck?” Jamie asked when the two boys finally reached Matt’s doorstep where everyone was already waiting.

“Is that a fokin’ love bite?” he continued laughing as Matt fumbled around with the door.

Nick seemed to be asleep, leaning on the house’s brick wall. Matt turned around to see what Jamie was talking about and he grinned at Miles who had a very noticeable purple spot on the side of his neck, the side that Alex was leaning on the entire way. Miles followed their gazes with his fingers and winced at the slight pain of the still wet and as it turned out very visible bruise. All he managed to say were a few incomprehensible words, as he was now too embarrassed to look them in the eyes. They gladly didn’t push him on it anymore and entered the house. Miles elbowed Alex who was barely awake on his shoulder and followed Matt and Jamie in. Nick was the last to come in, only waking up as Alex tripped over the doorstep and cursed loudly.

Matt’s house was of a typical British suburban style. It was one of those houses where you knew where everything was even if you hadn’t been there before. “Two of you’ll ‘ave to sleep here,” Matt pointed to two brown sofas in the sitting room, positioned opposite to each other with a coffee table between, “and the others’ll sleep upstairs.”

“Me and Al will stay down here if that’s a’right.”

“Eh, sure,” Matt smiled at Miles, “Nick, Cookie, come on.”

Miles turned around when the rest disappeared on the staircase; Alex was already laying on one of the sofas. He came up to him and took his shoes of.

“Are you so turned on you ‘ave to undress me yerself?” Alex addressed him sleepily with his face buried into one of the pillows.

“Oh, shut up,” Miles rolled his eyes at Alex’s drunken state and draped a blanket over him.

Of course, the thought of undressing him wasn’t exactly a bad one; he wasn’t going to admit that to Alex though. Miles settled on the other available sofa and cuddled up in a blanket as well. A few minutes later he could hear shuffling from the other couch and before he could ask what was up, he felt the weight of the other boy on top of him.

“Al, the fuck,” he giggled as he tried to distinguish Alex’s features in the dark. He felt his arms on his chest as Alex lowered himself and brushed his lips against his own.

Miles could smell the alcohol on Alex’s breath, reminiscent to the first time they kissed. His stomach made a somersault as he remembered back to that night, still very vivid in his memory. Miles responded to the kiss, grabbing at Alex’s hands on his chest. Alex synchronized every move of his mouth with every move of his hips, slowly grinding on top of Miles. Surely they would have kept it a little cleaner if it weren’t for the beers that loosened their actions. Miles reached down Alex’s body and pulled at his shirt in order to take it off. The heat instantly radiated from his bare chest onto Miles. He pushed Alex away and landed on top of him for change with a smirk on his lips. Alex cupped his face and their lips met again. He arched his back so his hips would meet with Miles’, feeling the warm sensation it sent through his body. He took Miles’ shirt off and tossed it behind him, attacking his already purple neck with vigorous kisses. Alex felt himself getting hard and so his hand travelled down Miles’ chest until it met with his belt buckle. He clumsily tugged on it before he felt the weight shifting on top of him. A cold breeze replaced Miles’ warm chest as he sat back away from Alex.

“Al, I’m sorry,” he breathed out heavily and clutched his knees, “I’m just not sure I’m ready for..this..”

Alex straightened himself on the sofa, “yeh, me too.”

He wasn’t embarrassed, he could share everything with Miles, but he already missed the pressure against his body. Alex didn’t know what had got into him. He too wasn’t prepared for sleeping with Miles, he just craved his closeness so much.

“I’ve never done it with a bloke, ya know. Barely had sex with birds too,” Miles chuckled at himself.

“That’s hard to believe, yer well fit, Mi.”

“Shut up and come here, I’m cold without you.”

Alex moved to Miles’ side of the sofa and kissed him on the cheek, “we’ll get there.” He fumbled around with the blankets and pillows so they could both lie next to each other.

“Whatever you two are doin’ or plannin’ to do, stop right now,” Matt exclaimed jokingly from the kitchen, but they could hear the slight seriousness in his voice.

It must have looked weird- two boys lying practically on top of each other with their top halves bare, and breaths still heavy from their previous actions, which hopefully Matt didn’t witness.

“For fuck’s sake, Matt, go away!” Alex grunted and threw a pillow in his direction. He could only see half of Matt’s features, which were illuminated by the streetlamp in front of his house, so he missed terribly. But he could see that Matt came down for a drink as he was holding a glass in his hand.

“Oi, it’s me house and I don’t want you shaggin’ yer boyfriend here! I think that’s pretty logical, ain’t it?”

“Matt, we weren’t goin’ t’shag here, don’t worry,” Miles interrupted calmly before Alex let out an audible “ _well”._

“What? I were joking, I didn’t think you’d actually fuck in me livin’ room! God, Al..” Matt giggled at the unbelievability of the situation. He left with a glass of water in his hand, still shaking his head.

“We’re in for an earful tomorrow mornin’,” Miles sighed.

Alex just hummed as he pulled Miles closer and tightened the embrace. He laid his head down right next to Miles’ so their lips were touching.

“Ya know Al, I can feel yer hard,” Miles smirked.

“Don’t fokin’ push it, Mi.”

They erupted into laughter, tears escaping the corners of their eyes until they calmed down and fell asleep tangled up; exactly as they liked it.


	13. Chapter 13

“Ya know, there are two settees in the room for a reason, lads.” Miles scrunched his face as he heard the voice near his ear. It took him a moment to recognise where he was and whose voice it was that spoke to him so teasingly the first thing in the morning. _Of course it’s Jamie_.

Miles wiped his eyes with the palm of his hand and tried to sit up on Matt’s sofa to reply to Jamie, but was stopped by the weight of Alex’s body, which casually draped over his own. He looked down at the still sleeping boy. Alex had previously had his arm wrapped around Miles’ waist, but as he tried to sit up, Alex’s hand ended up sliding down under the blanket, looking quite compromising to everybody around. The fact that both of them were bare-chested, their shirts discarded on the floor around the sofa, really didn’t help the situation.

“Err, Alex was a bit pissed last night and decided to join at some point..I know this looks fuckin’ bad, but nothin’ happened, really,” Miles replied to Jamie, trying to reach over Alex to pick up his shirt.

“Don’t bother, I’m kinda used to it now,” Jamie smiled. It was probably the first genuine smile Miles saw on Jamie’s face. Not that he wasn’t a nice person, but what Miles noticed in the past month was that Jamie wasn’t really the type to show what he was truly thinking, rather hiding it behind friendly bullying. Miles reciprocated the smile; for the first time he felt like he was truly accepted by one of Alex’s friends, not just seen as an acquaintance.

“D’ya wanna go for a smoke?” Jamie gestured over to him with a packet of red Marlboros he retrieved from god knows where.

“I didn’t know you smoke too, you don’t seem like the type.”

“Well, the rest of us kinda get outshined by Alex’s borderline unhealthy smoking habit, can’t blame ya,” Jamie replied with a smile, already making his way to the garden.

Miles carefully untangled himself from Alex, trying not to wake him up, took his shoes and followed Jamie outside. Jamie had already taken a seat on one of the wicker chairs right by the sliding door to the garden. He took a cigarette out of his packet and handed it over to Miles who accepted it with a smile.

“Ya know, I’m glad Alex has met you.”

Miles was already halfway through his cigarette when Jamie spoke, making him cough at the smoke. “Oh, really? Well..same here,” he replied after his lungs got a dose of oxygen.

“He’s been so happy the past weeks, you should see ‘im at school! Hasn’t paid attention ever since he met yer,” Jamie chuckled.

“Wow..er, I didn’t know.” Miles was still a bit thrown off by Jamie’s sudden honesty.

“Yeh, I mean, the last relationship Alex was in was about two tears ago. It ended terribly, lemme tell ya, wasn’t pretty,” Jamie shook his head as he though back to that incident.

“What happened?”

“Alex dated this bird..err, I cannot remember her name, but she dumped ‘im in front of the school for everyone to see. It wasn’t a pretty sight.”

“That’s fuckin’ awful,” Miles sighed. He could vividly imagine Alex’s puppy eyes sunken as the girl told him they were through whilst everyone was looking at them, probably leaving him there to find herself another boy right after. Miles took an instant dislike in her even though he didn’t know anything about her. But everyone who was willing to hurt a person such as Alex had instantly made it onto Miles’ black list.

“He hadn’t ‘ad a girlfriend since, we’d always thought it was because he’d never got over her..but I guess we was wrong,” Jamie laughed, “but this stays between us, aye? Al would kill me if he found out I told yer.”

Miles nodded as he stumped his cigarette on the ground. “It’s nice that Al has friends like you lads, yer like brothers.”

Jamie hummed in response before looking Miles directly in the face; probably a first one as well, and giving him another genuine smile. Frozen to the bone, they went inside. Matt had meanwhile come down and started making breakfast and by the sounds of it, Nick was taking a shower upstairs. Matt let out a sleepy “mornin’” before continuing to put bread in the toaster.

Miles made his way over to the sofa where Alex was surprisingly still asleep. He looked angelic. His cheeks were red and his lips parted. His hair was going in different directions, slightly curling at the bottom as it was getting a bit too long. Alex looked as if he was still trying to hold onto Miles, but his arms only enclosed around Miles’ blanket. Miles sat on the edge of the sofa.

“Al, wake up,” he stroked the boy’s hair.

Alex shifted closer under his touch as if he knew it was Miles and knew he craved it even in his sleep. He opened his eyes and smiled at the sight of Miles above him.

“Mornin’, Mi,” he said in his deep morning voice that made Miles’ insides do a flip.

“’Ello, lovebirds, breakfast’s ready!” Matt shouted from the kitchen, reminding them they weren’t alone. They ate their toasts and tea in silence with occasional small talk. Jamie and Miles never mentioned their morning conversation, but Miles could tell it had brought him closer to Jamie and the other boys as well. Alex and Miles stayed over at Matt’s after Jamie and Nick had gone home. Alex of course couldn’t go home to shower and change clothes, only if Miles was willing to wait at least a street down from his house while he did so. They opted for showering at Matt’s, Miles first, then Alex.

Alex was still in the bathroom when he heard a knock on the door. “Yes?”

“Al, can I come in? Forgot to brush me teeth!” Miles shouted through the door.

“Umm, yeh, ‘s open!”

Miles turned the gold knob and was struck by a cloud of steam that rolled out of the bathroom. “T’fuck, Al!” he exclaimed in amusement, “are you turnin’ this into a sauna?” Miles giggled until the steam settled down and he could see properly again.

His eyes fell onto the slender figure before him dressed in just his pants. Alex was leaning over the sink washing his face. He grabbed the towel Matt gave him and dried his face before turning around to face Miles. Alex smirked at the obviously flustered boy in front of him.

“As if you ‘aven’t seen this before,” Alex gestured at himself with a half-smile.

“Not in its full glory, tough…anyways, don’t think I’ll be getting’ tired of it any soon.” Miles was now the one to smirk, moving closer to Alex.

The air was too hot and Miles was beginning to sweat although he had just taken a shower, or was it the sight of Alex almost naked? Probably a mixture of the two. Alex stepped closer to Miles as well. Miles placed his hand onto his chest, running over Alex’s collarbone with his thumb. Alex closed his eyes at the touch and was surprised when he felt Miles’ lips press onto his. His hands found themselves around Miles’s waist, gripping tight to push Miles against his almost bare body. He deepened the kiss only to hear Miles sigh into him. “God, Mi, I can’t fuckin’ contain meself around you.”

Miles took Alex’s left hand from his waist and brought it so that it was now hanging between them, still in strong hold. He pressed their entwined hands against Alex’s crotch and licked Alex’s lips as he did so.

“Well, you’ll have to learn, Al,” Miles separated himself and his hand from Alex and went around him to do what he came in for.

“It’s goin’ to be hard when you’re always goin’ to be such a little tease,” Alex sighed frustrated at the loss of Miles around him.

“Like last night? I bet it is,” he smirked at Alex before giggling at his poor innuendo. Alex smacked him across the head as Miles was putting toothpaste onto his finger, completely forgetting to pack a toothbrush.

“Come on, babe, the city awaits!” Alex shouted skipping down the stairs.

Miles sighed to himself when Alex was finally out of sight. The tension between them was unbearable for him as well. He _had_ to take it further soon even though he knew they were both extremely scared or he would explode. Again, he chuckled at yet another lame innuendo before running downstairs to catch up with Matt and Alex.


	14. Chapter 14

Despite the rough winter wind crawling under their jackets, Miles and Alex decided to sit down on a park bench close to Alex’s house. Matt had gone home after a while and had left the two boys wander around the city alone. The park was sort of an invisible border beyond which the boys wouldn’t dare go in the fear of running into Alex’s mum or any of his neighbours. Although the chances of that happening weren’t exactly huge, they didn’t want to risk it. Alex’s mother would definitely drag Miles in for a cup of tea and would talk on and on about how Alex had been in such a great mood since he met him and desperately trying to figure out why, since he didn’t act that way around any of his other friends. They would both have to pretend as if there was nothing more than a new-found friendship between them.

“Mi, have you ever thought about comin’ out to your mum?” Alex asked after waking up from one of his frequent daydreams.

“You don’t even know how many times, really..” Miles played with the bottom button on his jacket, “I don’t like keepin’ secrets from her, and _shit_ , this is the biggest secret ever,” he chuckled. He had his legs folded under him, his knee on top of Alex’s thigh.

Alex stopped following the grey pigeon with a piece of bread in his beak, which was hopping in front of him and turned to Miles instead. “I think I’m goin’ to tell me mum.”

“Are you sure? When?” Miles looked concerned. Out of the two of them, Alex certainly seemed less likely to tell his mother about being gay, so Miles was intrigued at the sudden change of decision.

“As soon as possible,” Alex let out an audible sigh.

“What’s changed your mind? I thought you were scared as shit about tellin’ her,” Miles stopped playing with his jacket and turned to face the other boy.

“Well..err, it’s you.”

Miles chuckled, “what?”

“Fuck, Miles, I don’t wanna hide around Matt’s when you come t’Sheffield, or make up excuses for goin’ to Liverpool every other weekend.” Alex looked frustrated, but Miles couldn’t get the thought that even like this he looked absolutely perfect out of his head.

“So, I guess you’ve decided on what we are then, am I right?” Miles smiled and took Alex’s hand between his two. It was distinctively colder than his, so he brought it up to his lips and blew warm air onto the pale skin. Alex just laughed, but continued to talk seriously.

“Do we really need to say it anymore? I feel like Matt has established that a long time ago,” he looked up at Miles and laughed, his nose crinkling up and eyes glistening as he did so.

“If we’re goin’ to go by that, than I was expecting to receive a one month anniversary gift about two weeks ago,” Miles grinned. Instead of an anniversary present he received an elbowing into his side by Alex who then proceeded to stand up from the bench. He stretched his arms up into the air with his back turned to Miles.

“When I first met you I never imagined you bein’ such a tease, ya know that?” Miles raised an eyebrow as he laid his eyes onto Alex’s back and the sliver of his pale skin that peaked out from beneath his jacket as he stretched.

“Oh, shut up,” Alex turned around and took Miles by his hand, pulling him up from the bench, “now come on, let’s get pissed.”

“What?” Miles chuckled in disbelief, “it’s five o’clock…and me train leaves in two hours!”

“No it doesn’t,” Alex smirked as he intertwined his fingers with Miles’.

“What’re ya talkin’ about?”

“You,” Alex pulled the boy closer to him so they were only centimetres apart, “aren’t goin’ anywhere tonight.”

“My god, did you get like a book on how to flirt properly? ‘Cause you’ve been on a roll recently,” Miles chuckled and kissed him on the cheek, though not pulling away, but giving in to the smell of Alex’s skin and hair which had him swooning.

“Oh really? Could you please remind me who grabbed me cock this mornin’ and then went on to brush his teeth like nowt happened?”

“Come on, let’s get a few beers and figure out where we’re goin’ to sleep tonight,” Miles smiled into Alex’s hair, ignoring his teasing remark.

They walked hand in hand around Sheffield, trying to withstand the freezing wind with clenched teeth and curses, until they reached a pub of Alex’s choice. It looked a little shabbier on the inside compared to Miles’ favourite in Liverpool, but they shared the similar traits that all English pubs did. There were about six big wooden tables scratched and stained with beer and positioned around the walls and a bar that was in no better state.

They ordered a pint each and settled opposite to each other at one of the massive tables. They talked endlessly, exchanging more stories from school, holidays, and generally their life. Even though they’d got to know each other so well in just something over a month you would say they’d been friends since childhood, they were still able to dig out an embarrassing anecdote or two and giggle at it until another popped into one of their heads.

“…and then she dropped a biology textbook onto my foot and I let out this high-pitched scream and everyone thought it were her who’d done it and then they just laughed their tits off! Can you believe it?!” Alex was in the middle of telling another story, when Miles interrupted him: “was she yer girlfriend?”

“Um, yeh…we dated a few years back, but she broke up with me,” Alex stopped laughing and his eyes settled on the empty glass of beer in front of him.

“I know.”

“F’course, but never mind, that were a long time a..” Alex continued until he processed what Miles had said, “wait, how d’ya know?”

“Jamie told me, sorry,” Miles smiled embarrassedly.

“Oh, that bastard!”

“Al, I’m sorry, he was just tellin’ me how he’s glad that we met and then he told me about the bird, please, don’t be mad, I’m, we’re sorry.”

Alex sighed and let his head drop into his hands, “I’m not mad at you, Mi, s’not your fault. I’m just..ya know…embarrassed.”

“Why would you be embarrassed?” Miles reached to touch Alex’s hand.

“Well, ya know…she dumped me in front of everyone, that makes me kind of a loser, doesn’t it?”

“Oh, Al! Don’t say that! She’s the loser here to let someone like you go,” he pulled Alex’s hand closer to him and kissed it. Alex chuckled as Miles started flowering his hand and forearm with light kisses.

“Stop it, Mi!” he laughed and stood up from his seat, “god, I need I heavier drink,” he announced, making his way towards the bar.

Alex came back with two glasses of whiskey, but settled on the seat next to Miles instead.

“Wow, these are fuckin’ huge shots!”

“Well, that’s how we roll in Sheffield, Mi,” Alex said as he downed half of his too big shot glass.

Few hours and shots later and Miles and Alex were strolling down the street away from the bar, which got too crowded by Friday drinkers. Miles thought Alex would be done after one shot of whiskey, whose purpose was to erase the memory of his ex-girlfriend, but he went for another round soon after he’d finished the glass.

Miles of course didn’t object; he loved getting drunk with him. Alex was so adorable when he was intoxicated and he had this lovely mischievous spark in his eyes. His hair would get ruffled as his moves got more uncoordinated and he would slur his words to the point where they were on the verge of incomprehensible. Miles loved taking care of him, he loved stroking his hair when Alex would lean onto his shoulder because sitting upright was too difficult, and he loved taking in the nightlife when they would finally stumble out of wherever they were drinking because he knew that this wasn’t where it would end, that the night was still too young to fall asleep without kissing passionately in a tight embrace.

And Alex loved having Miles there when he was drinking. Because although they would both down the same exact amount of alcohol, Miles was able to handle himself better and Alex would feel safe around him. He made every sketchy pub feel like home with his arms draped around Alex, whispering sweet words into his ear, and playing with his hair.

Miles got suddenly pushed against the wall of a brick house they were passing. He let out a noise of surprise as Alex pressed his lips against his, but he relaxed quickly at the familiar taste and feel. He moaned into Alex’s mouth when he pushed himself tighter against Miles, his leg slipping in between his. He didn’t know whether they’d been kissing for an hour or just a few minutes, the alcohol had numbed his perception of time, but it startled him when Alex pulled away abruptly.

Miles looked at him with a quizzical expression, “what’s wrong, Al?”

“Wait here, please, it’ll be just a moment,” Alex blurted out before running away down the street and turning left at the crossroads.

Miles stood in place, too afraid to follow Alex because he would certainly get lost once he’d turned around the corner. Alex ran too fast, he just hoped a car wouldn’t hit him on the way to god knows where. Miles lit a cigarette instead and slid with his back against the wall until he was sitting on the pavement and prayed for Alex’s early return.

After half an hour he took out his mobile from his pocket. It was nearing ten in the evening and he was worried for Alex. Miles opened his contacts and found Alex’s number in order to call him when all of a sudden he heard someone’s steps echo on the empty street. He put his mobile phone away as he saw Alex running towards him with laughter. He grabbed Miles’ hand and pulled him up, still running and ignoring the boy’s questions.

“Al, _ALEX_ , stop for a fuckin’ second,” Miles exclaimed out of breath after they’d ran down the opposite side of the street, “where did you bloody go?!”

“I told me mum I was gay,” Alex said with a boyish smirk, obviously proud of himself for scaring the shit out of Miles. He slowed down and let go of Miles’ hand, who instead clutched his knees and tried to even out his shallow breathing.

“ _YOU DID WHAT_?!” Miles looked up from the ground ready to cough out his lungs.

“I just came out to me mum,” Alex sat down on the curb because he was unable to stand still whilst laughing so hard.

“So, let me get this straight,” Miles said between breaths, “you decide to run through half of Sheffield, scaring the bloody fuckin’ fuck out of me, and what? Did you wake her up, tell her you like cocks and came running back?”

“Don’t be stupid, Mi. She were watching telly,” Alex said with a slight smirk playing at the corner of his mouth.

“You’re unbelievable,” Miles shook his head as he sat next to him on the edge of the pavement, “what did she say?”

“I dunno, ran out before she could ‘ave a chance to reply.”

“You cannot be serious…no, f’course you are,” Miles turned to look at Alex with a smile, “you’re so gonna regret that once you sober up.”

Miles leaned over and kissed his cheek. “Please tell me you’ve at least figured out where we are goin’ to sleep tonight. I’m sensin’ you wouldn’t probably want to go back home now.”

“Don’t worry, Mi, as always, I’ve planned everythin’ to the last detail,” Alex answered proudly.

“Oh really?” Miles looked at him with a raised eyebrow, “so you’d call what you did just a few minutes ago a carefully thought-through master plan?”

“Sod off,” Alex crinkled his nose, “there’s this hostel near the place we’d performed at last night, I’m sure they’ll have a free room.”

As Miles remembered correctly, the Boardwalk, where the band played the previous night was on the completely opposite side of the city, so he was glad when Alex stated that they would wait for the bus to drive them at least a couple of stops closer to their destination.

They could see more people walking out and about in larger groups on the streets as they neared the centre of the city. It was much noisier in this part of the town with more pubs and discos open; it was after all a Friday night.

Alex nudged at Miles to signal him they were getting off at the next stop. They stepped out of the bus and shivered at the change of temperature compared to the bus.

“Are we near? I’m so…fuckin’ cold,” Miles thrusted his hands into his pockets.

“Yeh, s’just around the corner, but I wanna show you summat first.”

“Al, ya know, this isn’t really the best time for sightseein’.”

“It won’t take long, love, come on,” Alex pleaded towards Miles with puppy eyes.

“Did-did’ya just call me _love_?” Miles chuckled.

“Well, I ain’t gonna call me boyfriend ‘mate’,” Alex objected.

“No, no, I kinda like it,” Miles placed his head onto Alex’s shoulder, “and this is the first time you’ve called me yer boyfriend…I like that too,” he smiled into his jacket.

They walked over a railway and down the street until a huge set of buildings emerged in front of them.

“Where are we, Al?”

“This is a housing estate the city’d built in the fifties…umm, we just have to find the right entrance, hold on,” Alex mumbled as he searched over the place with his eyes. “Oh, there it is!” he exclaimed and pulled Miles to walk faster.

They entered through one of the gaps between two of the many buildings with thousands of little flats inside. All of the buildings were connected with three bridges on three different levels. Alex dragged the other boy inside, blocks of flats surrounding them.

He pointed at the upper most bridge connecting the two buildings they’d just walked under. It had been long dark outside, but the street lamps enlightened even the top of the buildings and Miles could distinguish graffiti of some sort on the bridge. He squinted his eyes to figure out what it said. ‘ _I love you will u marry me_ ’ was sprayed in white on the concrete.

“What is it? A bit too soon for marriage, innit?” Miles joked.

“Ha, dead funny, Mi,” Alex said sarcastically, “no, it’s been here a couple of years and no one really knows who’d done it. If you look closely, it says _Claire Middleton_ there too. There are a few stories goin’ around, but it’s sort of a mystery.”

“Wow, that’s incredible. It’s kinda strange not knowin’ who’d done it. What if she said no? And maybe they are livin’ happily somewhere here in Sheffield and are gigglin’ at all the speculation around it because only they know the truth…I like the thought of that,” Miles was in awe. The uncertainty of it all appealed to him and the otherwise dull and sort of ugly place was immersed in this mysterious romantic gesture.

“I know, I often go here just to look at it and create different stories in me head about Claire and the person who proposed to her. It’s got a proper atmosphere doesn’t it?” Alex looked over at Miles who was still looking up at the writing with a half-open mouth. His jaw was slightly shaking from the cold, which prompted Alex to finally get to the hostel.

“Come on, you’re freezing, Mi,” he said as he grabbed Miles by the waist and set out towards the place where they were going to spend the night.

They arrived in front of a narrow brick house with a chipped green sign beside the door. They entered and found themselves standing at a small reception. No one was present behind the counter as it was getting too late, so Miles rang the bell that sat there exactly for that purpose. He heard someone coming down the stairs and soon enough a slender boy, about the same age as the boys stood behind the reception. Alex had his face turned away from the counter and was just tucking a piece of hair behind Miles’ ear and gently caressing his cheek with a smile when the receptionist coughed to announce his presence. Alex turned around, smile still plastered on his face until he realized who the boy behind the counter was.


	15. Chapter 15

Alex’s eyes widened as he saw his classmate in front of him with a puzzled expression on his face. Even the last remains of alcohol left in his bloodstream had disappeared.

“Alex?”

“Oh, h-hey Dom,” Alex stuttered, subconsciously stepping away from Miles, “I…I didn’t know you worked here.”

Dom was in the same year as Alex, though they’d never really hung out outside of school or exchanged a conversation beyond the ‘what’s for homework’ type. He certainly wasn’t the person Alex wanted to to know he was gay and spent a Friday’s night in a hostel with some bloke. Well, Miles was much more than just a bloke to him, but he was pretty sure it wasn’t a detail Dom would dwell on when retelling the story to his friends and the rest of the school if not the whole of Sheffield.

“Yeh, started a coupla weeks ago, need the extra money..” Dom trailed off as his eyes locked on Miles. He was unable to speak as his eyes skipped over the boys’ features from behind the counter, trying to get in terms with what was happening.

It must have been pretty clear from the looks of it. Miles nudged Alex with his elbow as the awkward silence that fell around the room had become too long and too unbearable for him. Alex snapped out of his train of thought, which was going the speed of light, and cleared his throat, “I was…err…wondering if you had any free rooms left.”

“Just for one night?” Dom asked although he was quite sure of the answer.

“Y-yes,” Miles answered as it took Alex too long to open his mouth, making him jump at the sudden noise beside him.

“One room, I’m guessin..” Dom mumbled as he searched for the right key on the key hanger, “follow me, lads.”

Miles followed Dom first, turning around on the stairs to flash Alex a puzzled look, gesturing he wanted to know what was going on and who Dom was. Alex just shook his head to signal he would tell him once they’d got to their room and started walking up the stairs as well. Dom stopped in front of a room on the first floor and opened it, leaving the key inside the door.

“Here we are, the breakfast’s served from six to ten o’clock if you’re interested in that and you pay when checkin’ out. If there’s anythin’ you need, just ring at the reception, havin’ the night shift,” he half-smiled, but you could tell he wasn’t really looking forward to spending the night awake.

Miles thanked and smiled politely and stepped into the room. It wasn’t too big, the only furniture being a big double bed with a nightstand on each side and a door in the hallway, presumably leading to the bathroom. Alex remained standing in the hall as if thinking and walking was a task that couldn’t be done at the same time. Dom just smiled politely in Miles’ direction before beginning to walk off back to the reception, but Alex caught at the sleeve of his shirt and stopped him.

“Umm, hey. I know this looks kinda questionable, but please, if you could not mention it anywhere…I’d be grateful,” he explained to Dom.

“Is-is that your boyfriend?” Dom was unsure of how to go about asking what had been on his mind since he saw Alex’s hand gently placed on Miles’ cheek when they entered into the hostel.

“Yes…he is actually, but I’d like to, ya know, not tell that to anyone yet.”

“Sure, Alex, don’t worry, your secret’s safe with me,” Dom smiled before turning around to proceed walking down the stairs, “still surprised, though,” he shouted when only his head was visible from where Alex was standing.

Alex let out a sigh as he closed the door behind him, leaning against it with palms pressed into his eyes.

“Who was that, Al?” Miles asked worriedly. He was already sitting on the bed with the duvet draped around his shoulders.

“Dom’s me classmate,” Alex let out another sigh, “just fokin’ hope he’ll keep his promise and not tell the rest of the school we shagged in a hostel,” he chuckled, but it wasn’t exactly a happy one.

“Oh…” Miles wanted to comfort Alex, but no words were coming to him, “wait, were we goin’ to shag?” he smirked finally.

“Err, no, I mean, just that it looks like that…ya know,” Alex gestured with his hands as if they were going to help him form an actual sentence and avoid embarrassment at the same time.

“…because I was hopin’ to…” Miles smiled as he looked down at his folded legs in the bed sheet.

Before he could say anything else, Alex had already made his way to the bed in what was an impressively short amount of time and pushed him down into the covers with the palm of his hand. Miles gasped as Alex got on top of him, legs on both sides of his hips and dipped down to kiss him.

“Wow, Al, hey…calm down,” Miles chuckled from underneath Alex.

He pushed him away slightly, just enough to look him in the eyes as he spoke.

“Al, I really want to do…this, but I’m scared as fuck and I know you’re too, so…just…,” Miles struggled with finishing his sentence, possibly forgetting where he was even going with it or possibly, more likely, getting lost in Alex’s deep dark eyes.

“I know I am, Mi, but what better way to overcome yer fears than jumpin’ right into it?” he smirked down at the boy.

“I can’t believe this is the same person who was stutterin’ when talkin’ to me just a few weeks ago lyin’ on top of me now.”

“You could say a certain boy took me breath away then,” Alex replied with another cheeky grin.

“Oh, god, Alex, that was bloody cheesy, get away from me!”

Alex looked at Miles with fear in his eyes, like when you take a puppy its toy, or a child its sweets. He began to pull himself up away from Miles before the boy caught the collar of his shirt and brought him closer again. “I was only jokin’, babe, don’t go anywhere, please.”

He started kissing Alex’s jaw and slowly made his way to his lips, simultaneously pulling the boy down onto him. There was hardly any space between their bodies, which provided Miles with the perfect opportunity to wrap his legs around Alex’s waist. They may have been kissing for hours or just minutes, but when they separated again, Alex’s face was flushed, lips swollen, and he struggled to catch his breath. He left Miles’ face and hair the beautiful mess they had become and moved a bit lower, his hands hovering over Miles’ shirt until he’d got a smile from the boy, indicating it was alright for him to continue and take it off. Before Alex was able to discard Miles’ shirt on the floor, the other boy was already tucking on his to take it off as well. It landed next to Miles’ on the carpet with an almost inaudible thud that somehow made itself be heard between the heavy breaths that filled the room.

“Mi, you’re so beautiful,” Alex sighed, leaving a trail of kisses from Miles’ neck, through the dip in his chest until he reached his stomach.

Miles was so slim Alex was almost able to connect his fingers wrapped around his waist. He let his gaze fall further down Miles’ body and he smirked, looking back up at the boy when he noticed the growing bulge in his jeans. Miles reciprocated the smirk, although it had a hint of embarrassment and pulled Alex up to meet with his lips again. Alex’s lips were wet and warm, and when the last traces of alcohol disappeared, he could taste that special something that only his lips had, the special something that kept him awake more nights than he wanted to. Still kissing Miles, Alex reached down to his jeans and placed a hand on the belt buckle, though this time he wasn’t stopped. He smiled into the kiss and with slight difficulty and giggles he managed to take his trousers off. Miles didn’t hesitate for a moment and sat up to also leave Alex in just his boxers.

“Shit,” Miles muttered under his breath and lied down in disappointment.

“What’s wrong? Did I do somethin’?” Alex’s eyes again filled with fear.

“Al, we don’t have any lube…or condoms…”

“Fuck, forgot about that,” Alex breathed out.

“We’re so not ready, love,” Miles smiled and looked up at Alex who was sitting beside his legs. Smiles quickly turned into chuckles and they were soon laughing too loud for the late hours.

“Maybe we aren’t ready for that, but I ‘ave an idea,” Alex spoke, eyes sparkling, when the laughs finally died out.

He looked at Miles lying in front of him on the bed, only in his underwear with small droplets of sweat that remained from when the room had suddenly got a thousand degrees hotter; coincidentally about the same time as they took their shirts off. Miles shivered with anticipation, not quite sure what Alex meant by what he said, until he lowered himself onto Miles again, palming him through his boxers. He gasped at the sudden touch, but was silenced by Alex’s lips.

From then onwards it was all a blur in front of Miles’ eyes. A wave of pleasure he had never experienced before took over him and blinded him for what seemed to be forever, until he was brought back to reality by Alex biting down on his thigh and looking up at him with a boyish grin, obviously very satisfied with his work.

Now it was Miles’ turn to leave Alex struggle for air and grab onto anything in his vicinity that would keep him steady. They finally collapsed next to each other on the covers.

“I feel sticky,” Miles said with a pout looking up at the off-white ceiling.

Alex chuckled at his childish tone, “me too.”

“Shower?”

“Yeah.”

Miles rolled over from the bed and made his way to the bathroom. “Al,” he shouted, his voice echoing from the white-tiled room, “there’s only a bath in here!”

Alex crossed the bedroom and looked over Miles shoulder into the bathroom. Unfortunately, as the other boy was a couple of centimetres taller, he had to push him down by the shoulder too see better. “Don’t think that will be a problem,” he smirked and pecked Miles on the cheek.

Soon, steam filled the small bathroom and Miles quickly turned the water off to avoid any disasters. He climbed into the bath and winced at the change of temperatures. Alex appeared in the door and smiled at the sight. Miles had closed his eyes in the short amount of time Alex was in the other room and had his head leaning against the side of the crisp white bath. Alex knelt down next to the bath and tucked a wet strand of hair behind Miles’ ear.

“Are you tired?” Miles opened his eyes slightly only to find Alex right next to his face.

“Not too tired,” he smiled and moved to one side of the bath to make room for the other boy. Alex put one leg into the steaming water and tried to push himself off the side of the bath only to slip and land on top of Miles who let out a painful cry.

“Al, for fuck’s sake! I think you just broke every single bone in me!”

“Sorry, Mi!” Alex apologised embarrassedly as he tried to settle next to him for the second time, still with great difficulty.

He wrapped his arms around Miles when he finally managed to lie on his side and rested his head on Miles’ chest. The heavy steam and the warmth radiating from Miles worked wonders on Alex. His eyelids felt heavier by the minute as he let Miles play with his hair, calming him to the point where he had to fight back the urge to yawn ever so often.

“Mi, you’re the best thing that’s happened to me,” he mumbled into the boy’s chest before falling asleep.


	16. Chapter 16

Alex woke up a few hours later when the water in the bathtub had got so cold it gave him goose bumps in sleep. He looked down at his fingers and grimaced in disgust at their shriveled-up state. Miles obviously wasn’t having any troubles sleeping in the now almost freezing water, but Alex still decided to wake him up, turning around and pecking him on the lips.

“Mi, wake up.”

It took Miles a few seconds to get the sleep out of his eyes and a few more to remember how he had ended up sleeping in the bathtub. He smiled as he thought back to what they had been up to just a couple of hours ago.

“What are you smilin’ about?” Alex asked examining his face with eyes glistening of pure adoration.

“Just…us,” Miles smiled again, showing his teeth just slightly.

“Oh,” Alex quickly caught on, “that were dead nice.”

“Wow, if I were to ever write an autobiography, please remind me to write ‘ _he gave dead nice blowjobs_ ’ on the first page, okay?” Alex snickered and elbowed him wholeheartedly before shuffling around the bathtub; a poor attempt to stand up from the slippery ceramic bottom.

“Come on, let’s go to bed before me arse freezes off.”

Miles took one of the towels from the bathroom and draped it around his shoulders before shimmying towards the bed where Alex was already lying under the covers. Alex grinned at the boy in front of him and the lack of efficiency with which he used the white towel. Miles let the towel drop onto the floor and climbed into the bed, possibly too far away from Alex as he pouted his lips and brought him closer, snaking his arm around Miles’ waist. He reached over Alex to the bedside table where Alex left his mobile phone and turned it on.

“What time is it?” Alex asked with his voice muffled as his face got squished against Miles’ chest when the boy moved.

“Almost four o’clock,” Miles paused before continuing with a chuckle, “and yer mum called three times.”

“Shit,” Alex sighed from under Miles, “I’ve got a lot of explainin’ to do, don’t I?”

Miles turned the phone off again and let his body drop back onto the bed next to Alex.

“What are you gonna say to her?”

“I dunno…reckon she’ll be more mad about the fact that I got drunk and didn’t tell her where I were goin’,” he smiled at Miles, “and the fact that I interrupted her when Corrie was on.”

“Oi! Don’t diss Corronation Street, I happen to love me some,” Miles smirked seeing it annoyed Alex to the point where he had to roll his eyes.

“I know you do, you little mope!” Alex laughed before reaching under the covers to poke Miles in the stomach, getting squeals and laughs from the boy; the prospect of sleeping long forgotten.

“Okay,” Miles got serious again when he finally managed to get Alex to sod off, “but what are you gonna do once you get home? I’m sure yer mum’s lovely, but I don’t want you getting’ in trouble.”

“Don’t worry about me,” Alex half-smiled, but he couldn’t hide the fact that he was quite scared to approach his mother after what he had done. Miles was right; he was regretting it once he had sobered up.

“Al…,” Miles stroked his cheek worriedly, “do you want we to come with you?”

“I thought we were tryin’ to work out how to apologise to her, not give her a bloody heart attack!”

“Okay, I’m sorry, just tryina help.”

“I know you are,” Alex brought Miles into his chest and squeezed him tight, “I love you.”

Miles pulled away from the embrace to get a view of Alex’s face, whose expression went from that of complete solitude to pure horror. Alex was on the verge of saying something when Miles interrupted, “what?”

“I-I’m sorry, Miles, it just slipped from me tongue, I didn’t mea-,” Alex started panicking and pushed himself further away from Miles with the intention of standing up from the bed.

“Al, AL! Calm down,” Miles said with a chuckle as he observed the flustered boy, “I love you too, f’course I do,” he grabbed Alex’s hand and brought him closer again, “just didn’t think I were to hear it out loud.”

Alex let out a sigh from the pit of his stomach and leaned into Miles’ touch, “I love you so much.” Miles chuckled lightly before closing his eyes, exhaustion getting to him again. He drifted off to a content sleep, soon after joined by Alex.

_________________________________________________________________

Four months had passed with frequent visits from Alex in Liverpool and vice versa. Alex’s mum was more than alright with Alex being gay, although he had received a strong smack over the head for scaring her to death and also interrupting her TV-watching rituals.

Miles followed the band as they toured around Britain, slowly becoming a steady part of the group. He would stand on the side of the stage, looking affectionately at his boyfriend and mouthing the words to the songs he had got to know so well. Sometimes, just for the pure feeling of nostalgia, he would put on his white t-shirt that said ‘I Bet You Look On The Dancefloor’, now a bit beaten up because he would wear it to sleep almost every night, and sneak out into the crowd. Alex would then laugh at him during the song and watch how he would dance around to the point his hair was sticking to his face with sweat similarly to his own. He would wink at him after the song had ended and Miles would chuckle at the girls around him who obviously thought the wink was aimed at them. _If only they had known how wrong they were_.

During moments like these, Miles was taken aback by how much his life had changed within just a few months. He definitely wasn’t expecting this outcome when begging his friends to go see Arctic Monkeys in Liverpool with him, having to show them their songs on myspace because they weren’t aware of them back then. Miles himself discovered the band at his favourite record shop in the city when the owner handed him a CD with four demos for free, assuring him that he would fall in love with the band. _He didn’t even know how right he was_.

He had spent many nights listening to he bootleg CD and trying to play the same chords on his guitar, singing ever so slightly so he could still hear the lead singer’s voice. Of course, he never told Alex about it, although the boy was surprised, to say at least, when Miles took his guitar before one of the gigs and started belting out to ‘Bigger Boys and Stolen Sweethearts’.

It was almost the end of February and Miles and Alex were sitting on the stage, their feet dangling from the edge down onto the dance floor. Tonight they were to play in London, at a place called The Garage. Miles could probably count the times he had been to London on his fingers and the same could have been said about Alex. It was their first time playing in London and they were all filled with anxiety. The place looked quite concealed from the outside, but once the five of them stepped in, they were overwhelmed by how spacious it was; definitely one of the biggest venues they had yet played. They had finished their soundcheck and the rest of the band went to play ping-pong in the room adjacent to the stage, leaving Alex and Miles alone. Alex’s nerves were getting to him and every tap of his fingers became more vigorous until Miles reached for his hand and calmed him instantly.

“You’re gonna do great, love, I know you are,” he assured Alex with a slight smile.

“This is the furthest we’ve been from home, I think I’m goin’ to throw up on stage,” he chuckled, but continued to tap nervously with his other hand. Miles reached for the other hand too, partly because the sound was annoying him, but more importantly he wanted to let Alex know he wasn’t alone in it. He intertwined their fingers and placed a sweet, but very passionate, kiss onto Alex’s lips. Alex gave into the kiss as if that was the thing both his body and mind needed to keep sane until he was onstage.

“Mi?”

“What’s up?”

“I ‘ave an idea.”

“What should that idea be?” Miles said, going along with yet another childish game.

“What if we lived together?” Alex said, sheepishly resting his head on Miles’ shoulder.

“You mean…as in sharin’ a flat?”

“Yeah, why not? I’m sure our mums would be glad to get rid of us and the bloody train journeys to Liverpool are costin’ me my dear life.”

“Oh, shut up, you just sold out a venue in London,” Miles poked him in the stomach teasingly.

“I plan to eat next month as well,” Alex ruffled Miles’ hair.

“I don’t know, Al…are we even ready for that?” Miles wanted to keep a straight face for as long as possible, but the idea of sharing a flat with Alex, waking up next to him every morning and falling asleep beside him each night had him beyond excited.

“Okay Miles,” Alex straightened himself and put on a serious face, “what’s my name?”

“Where are you goin’ with this?” Miles asked suspiciously.

“What’s my name?”

“Alex Turner,” Miles sighed realising he wasn’t going to win.

“When was I born?”

“6th of January, 1986.”

“What time?”

“How am I supposed to fuckin’ know that?!”

“Don’t worry, I dunno either,” Alex smirked.

“What’s my favourite subject?”

“If anyone asked you, you would probably say PE, but I know in fact that it is actually English. You just want to look cool sometimes,” Miles smiled mischievously.

“What do you mean ‘ _sometimes_ ’?” Alex protested, “oh, never mind, onto the next question.”

“What’s my favourite band?”

Miles looked down at Alex’s t-shirt and shook his head, “you have on a Strokes t-shirt, what kind of a daft question is that?”

“Good point,” Alex smiled shyly, “what’s my favourite position?”

Miles let out an audible choking sound, but answered nonetheless, “you inside me.”

“…or?”

“Me inside you,” Miles rolled his eyes with a sigh. He hadn’t yet decided if he was enjoying this game or getting sick of it.

“What is my dream?”

“You’ve always wanted to just be happy, have someone you love by your side and get to spend every second of your life with them. But somehow music has made its way into your life and you cannot imagine living without your band and without writing songs and the whole process of recording and performing them, it has become a necessity. So I would say your dream is to get better and better at what you enjoy the most and keeping the people you love beside you at all costs.”

Alex turned to completely face Miles, “see, there is nowt you don’t know about me,” he said with a blazing smile. “Go on, ask me sommat as well.”

“No, I believe you, Al, you know everythin’ about me too,” Miles leaned in to peck Alex on the lips.

“So, what do ya say?” Alex asked excitedly, his eyes sparkling with that boyish mischievousness Miles loved so much.

“Okay…yeah, why not?” Miles couldn’t contain his happiness any longer.

Alex pushed Miles down so he was laying on the stage’s floor with his back and kissed him ever-so-gently until licking Miles’ bottom lip in order for the boy to open up for him. He broke the kiss eventually, scared that someone might interrupt them, and planted a light one on Miles’ nose before standing up a reaching out to help Miles.

“Come on, we have to get a bit pissed before to show so I won’t die out there,” Alex prompted Miles with a nervous sigh.

They were both a visible shade of pink, hair ruffled, and t-shirts crinkled as they made their way towards the rest of the band. “I love you, Al,” Miles leaned into Alex’s chest as they walked, reaching for the boy’s hand to get the last remaining nerves out of him.


End file.
